OMG THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY!

ALL THE HUGS TO YOU, MY LOVE!

I pre-ordered this and have been away almost constantly for work. I can’t freaking WAIT to have an entire weekend to myself where I can cook half of this book!

This man deserves to be in jail like yesterday.

Imagining what these women went through literally just brought me to tears. These doctors should at the very least, be stripped of their licenses.

I am super curious to know what deal with the devil Cindy, Christy Brinkley and Paul Rudd made. I am willing to also sell my soul for their eternal youth.

DON’T TEOLL ME WHAT TO DO WITH MY SNATCH!

“How the hell did I get the best seat in the house?”

Looks more like S&M meets crab fishermen themed party.

RIGHT?! Like with Denzel. WTF?

Omg I mean, I HATE pageants. A lot. But I had so much contact embarrassment, I had to turn off the video as soon as Steve Harvey walked back on stage. It’s SO BAD!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Here’s my pee.

It’s more than money. She’s just got luck too. Or genes. Whatever it is, she will forever be Princess McShinyLocks to me.

I’m not one to kiss and tell, but her name rhymes with Mailer Bwift.

Well shit, I should invite him in next time.

I don’t think I’ve ever agreed with Kris Jenner, but I’m with her on this one. We live by a famous person and the level of creepy stalkers is scary AF. Especially the guy that wears a black wool trench coat in 90 degree weather and insists he’s a motivational speaker.

RANDI!!!! I was trying to talk to you the other day and for some reason Kinja was fucking with me. IT WAS AMAZING!!!! Are you on instagram yet? If not, I’ll DM you some photos on twitter.

Kim, if it makes you feel any better, I didn’t even know Kristin had a brother, let alone a missing one.

I used it on purpose to keep us from actually fighting. Works every time.