Take your star. 

Now that’s a proposal I can get behind. 

I understand that. I thought I was being funny. I was wrong, apparently. 

To be fair, you need to make A LOT more than $10M to afford a yacht, a Basquiat, and a couple corn flake wielding devils. 

I didn’t ever think about how amazing this would be until a few months after my fall wedding. Now I’m desperately trying to convince my engaged friends to do this so we can all dress up and booze up with an open bar. 

She already announced on instagram yesterday that they’ll be launching sizing up to size 40 shortly. But it’s Jezebel and it’s more important to rage at Amy Schumer than to report facts. 

Thank you thank you! We’re SO excited! 

Hahahaha omg that boss seriously has ZERO boundaries!

Just ordered it! Thank you for the tip! 

Thank you!!!!! It’s so exciting and scary! 

I’m due with my first in May, so I picked up a book that was supposed to teach me how to nourish my body and bond with my baby for the first forty days after birth. I skipped ahead to the recipes and the very first one was for a placenta smoothie that called for a “2 inch piece of frozen placenta”. So I obviously…

I read every word of this post in my head as a seething Leslie Knope yelling about Eagletonians. 

Thank you so much! It actually feels really good to talk to all my internet friends about this since we’re not announcing for another week or so. 

I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. 

Face hemorrhoids are a perfect punishment. Thank you for introducing them to me. 

Best of luck to you guys and your beautiful baby. 

It will be, I promise. It seems like an eternity while you’re going through it, but you’ll get there. And I’m always here if you need someone to talk to/cry to/scream to. <3

Thanks Eugene. <3

I’m in my 12th week of a thankfully successful pregnancy so far. We had to go through hell and back with IVF to get here and I’ve been a ball of nerves and anxiety until my ultrasound today. If god forbid, I had lost the baby, and I had to deal with this fuckstick on top of an already devastating miscarriage, I would…

I knew it was coming but I still threw my phone across the room.