That J.Lo diss will never ever ever get old. I could watch it on loop for eternity.

Yo. Attention all GOP dickholes. Stay the fuck away from my snatch.

You and I should be friends.

HOW DO YOU FIND THESE THINGS!?!?!

Those guys are the worst.

Hahahaha I was so enraged over the “no offense” that I didn’t even notice that

YOU CAN RIP IT OUT OF MY COLD DEAD HANDS!

This is why we’re friends.

I CAN’T EAT A DIAMOND!

Not to be all damsel in distress or anything, but he sounds like a super dreamy fiancee. (Don’t tell my fiancee)

I’ve done that! Like now it doesn’t even register in my head bc I feel like it’s not something that’s said on the east coast that much. I grew up in Michigan, though, and I swear to god it’s like the beginning of every other sentence. Or maybe that was just during the shitty part of my life that I was in a sorority...…

lol at sick donkey shitting in your mouth hahahah

Thank you for reminding me of how funny that movie is. I was wondering what I was gonna do with my summer Friday when it’s way too fucking hot to leave the house!

My biggest issue with this is the lady that started her tweet with “no offense”. Like, first of all, you are condemning this product so you do definitely mean some offense. And I also hate people who use “no offense” as a way to say super offensive things and be indemnified against the super offensive things they’re…

I wouldn’t say he cried and cried but he def shed a tear or two. Something he or any other late night host wouldn’t dare do over a dead black kid and risk losing a shit ton of racist shitbag viewers. This guy kinda summed up my feelings toward this whole outrage situation.

There are SO MANY angry white people on my Facebook feed from my hometown. They tend to remain pretty fucking silent when an unarmed black kid gets shot.

That was Linda Evangelista

You are kind of perfect.

Ugh that’s so gross. I’m not surprised tho. I work in private aviation and I get blatantly hit on all the time. Sometimes in front of their wives. Like, sorry buddy, but I’m in this industry bc I’m super geeky about airplanes, not bc I think your jet is an extension of your tiny penis.

Every word you type is making me more angry for Jennifer and makes me want to hulk smash Ben more and more.