I desperately need to know what deal Amal made with the devil for that hair and those brows. STAT.

This is such an amazingly huge step! If any of my former employers would have offered that, I would have done it in a second. I've wanted to freeze my eggs since my early 20's but just couldn't afford it. Good on them.

I just started a really intense work out regimen after being basically sedentary for about 4 years. While I know health and fitness is what I should be the most excited about changing, it's really all the options of super cute work out gear that's been coming out lately. I better stick with this, otherwise I'm wasting…

I JUST FINISHED!!!! Oh my god, that show was so so so good. But now I'm in that phase when you finish binge watching a great show and I miss my new TV friends. I NEED MORE ADAM PALLY!

No oath. You have just now promised to give your first born to the Jezebel writer of their choosing. I just read the Kinja fine print.

Mr. Shaftel, you can pry my eggs benedict, bacon cheeseburgers, chicken and waffles (mood and level of hangover is what normally decides this) and my unlimited mimosas outta my cold. dead. hands.

That's what I've been telling myself.

ARE YOU ME?!

THANK YOU FOR THIS! Oh god, I love him. I'm still waiting with baited breath, but good news is Erin Gloria Ryan just started following me! At least I have that.

I march a lot too.

You, know… people are always telling me that I look like someone famous but can never put their finger on it. Thank you, Jessa Dugger's FiL… now i can tell them it's bc I'm Hitler's doppelgänger.

Idk, I took it as she's so uptight, feeling like she was lied to, potential ruining of her perfect career, etc. I wouldn't care if my boyfriend was bi, but I sure as shit would want to know if I was engaged to a gay man.

Same.

Not even a little bit what happened, but ok.

OMG THANK YOU! I just commented above that I'm dying to watch it, but it's not on Netflix. Welp, sorry bosses, I won't be working for the remainder of the day. Good thing I work from home most days.

I'm DYING to watch Happy Endings, but it's not on Netflix. Any idea where I could find it?? Also, the picture is everything.

Jessica, I love you but…

How could you not?! A face without eyebrows is already hilarious. But when you pair that with all the FACE he was giving, I totally lost it.

Peter is always amazing and is definitely my favorite character on the show, but he was KILLING IT last night. Between his explanation on how he knew Danny was lying, the skeleton demos, and his eyebrow bandaids, I have a new major major crush.

Not a lawyer type here, but I know it has been said that she could get out early for good behavior.