Their 1969 jeans fit me fabulously. (small waist, giant ass and thighs) other than that, everything in there is basically what I imagine you would find in a nun's closet

As a Michigander, I find your comment a bit insulting. As a seal enthusiast, I find it awesome.

Right?! It looks like a constant front wedgie.

I'm sure you're right. But she can't be THAT much of an asshole, right? I mean, I feel like that spot is specifically reserved for Bieber.

I so badly want to shake the shit out of Selena Gomez and scream YOU DESERVE BETTER!

You are always worth it. Don't forget that. Also, the Gawkerverse needs you.

Hmm, I still believe the waitress.

I will never forget the first time I saw the first episode of Bob's Burgers. The family was just having their normal back and forth banter and Tina interjects with "my vagina itches" and proceeds to scratch at her vagina. I was hooked.

Uber, I like you so much that your distaste for tomatoes legitimately bothers me to my core.

I just don't get it. What kind of a sick sociopath do you have to be to think this is funny?

I mean, I am a firm believer that just bc you're filthy rich, does not mean it's ok for you to get robbed. Unless the person/people in question are Kardashians and the result of which leads to them not filming their show. There are always exceptions to the rule and I am ok with this one.

I have a tendency to reach for hyperbole. We just were cracking up last night over it. It's probably the greatest thing the Post plus the NYPD has done in a long long time.

The photo is so so great! Mr. DancingMuppets and I were discussing how bad we felt for the guy last night. Like, a v. famous and voluptuous rear end crosses your path, you're probably going to look (I know I would) and now he's all over the Post for everyone to see looking like a mildly creepy ass fetishist.

I will think nothing but wonderful thoughts of you while you watch Mrs. Doubtfire. And if anyone says otherwise, fuck em.

I am SO SAD. I'm off to remember him by a mini marathon. I'll be watching Dead Poet's Society followed by The Bird Cage. RIP, Robin. You will be sorely missed.

Close. Mariah Carey Heartbreaker jeans. Just as late 90's as JNCOs, but made my parents angrier.

I definitely wore that top with crimped hair and a choker.

You can do the crop top, I promise. Just do what I do and make the crop long enough and the skirt high enough that you only see the tiniest bit of skin when you're reaching for something.

Well, maybe, but my point is that not everything you think is tacky is tacky to everyone.

Well then it's a good thing he didn't ask you.