I swear like a motherfucker in my "real" life, but clamp it down around my parents, conservative religious people, and "the authorities." Partially it's self-preservation, and partially it's respect for other people's sensibilities. If I had kids I don't think I would mind them swearing (hard to say for sure, since…

Welp, Republicans are not my favorite kind of people,and beauty pageants strike me as plenty regressive, but I do appreciate that this woman apparently won the crown with her intelligence, knowledge, and articulateness. Good for her for going into politics, although I'd never want her to be my representative.

I can see your point. I've known guys like that too. If you give it right back to them, a conversation with that sort of guy can even be fun.

Click through the Debbie Reynolds link, and . . . OH MY GOD that DRESS. Liz Taylor may get all TEH MENZ, but Debbie's dress is the BEST.

Penelope Cruz AND Daniel Craig! That is eye candy sufficient to keep me enthralled for two full hours of worthless plot and empty characterization.

Unfortunately, that poor fan will forever be in shadow. . . in the shadow of Angelina's glorious stardom.

Yes, I am indignant, and righteously so. Fucking BISCUITS.

Exactly. This post is a great explanation of a core element of racism and sexism: there is something deeply offensive about treating all members of a group as though they are the same, just because of their group membership. Not all white people are the same, not all women, not all men, not all Chinese people, etc. …

This is the OPPOSITE of education. Education ought to be about developing people's potential, not squashing it.

Truth.

Jezebel, why are you obsessed with cronuts? I find this deeply perplexing.

Using GRANDS BISCUITS? No. Nononononono. Here's the thing to do, folks (I'm making this up, but it sounds good to me): buy frozen puff pastry and thaw it. Shape the dough into thick round doughnut shapes, and then deep fry it. Then top it with frosting (I recommend a nice ganache—melt together equal quantities of…

Hey, if you're in there by yourself and you're not broadcasting noises to people, keep up the learning/reading. I'm a fan of bathroom magazines myself, which are also pretty inert when it comes to broadcasting noises to other people, so I'm on your side here.

It only works for girls who've had implants, because if you rub on them hard enough the saline comes out.

And I thank you for it.

Most recent roommate, as in, not your roommate anymore? One hopes, because UGH.

That's beautiful. I don't think I can rise to that level of ballsitude, though, so I'm going to stick with the Blow-Out-Their-Eardrums-With-The-Hand-Dryer Strategy. But your sister-in-law is to be commended. Shout out to another stranger!

Ashinae, you may be an internet stranger, but you have had a profound influence on my life today; and I will remember you, without having the slightest freaking clue who you are, the next time I find myself in these circumstances.

Not a jerk. An Enforcer of Boundaries.

Ewww. Grossest anecdote of the day. High five!