That's literally the one good thing to come from his existence. I think of DadBoner whenever I see him.

Oh, I agree. I like watching his show, but I can't stand him. It's impressive. Because I love the concept for Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives so much, but I can't watch it because all I can think about when I do is gouging out Guy Fieri's eyeballs out with my thumbs.

By "Alton Brown's Way" I assumed you meant you cooked while somehow making me want to punch you in the face.

Pictured: The last remaining photo of a pre-plastic surgery Tori Spelling.

I don't know if I want to see any of those people naked

Close. Lincecum is actually looking for a long-term dealer. Other than that, nice work today.

spiked on occasion with puns.

Second, and more damningly, there are no McDonalds in Manayunk.

Wait...Michael Jordan's jersey number was 23. His new fiancee is 32, which is 23 flipped. This announcement was made five years to the day from his divorce announcement. 2+3=5. He proposed on Christmas, which is December 25th. If you flip the date, you get 52. 5-2=3.

+1

Ha!

Nice

+1

Ha!

+1

Wait, I guess I wasn't clear on the whole "No Strings Attached" request section on Craigslist. To those of you who are familiar with Craigslist, where would I put my request for "One Night Stand With Someone That Looks Just Like Pinocchio, After He Turns Into A Real Boy"?

+1

holy shit not everything needs to be a Wire reference.

Megalomania and a complete inability to feel empathy for anyone else. Do you have something that can represent all that to the camera?

What Thornton is doing may look silly, but it makes a lot more sense when you know the whole story, because he's actually wearing Dave Bermingham's glove.