So I guess I won't be naming my daughter Tubgirl.

It doesn't look like they're all white, so my white guilt is confused as to how outraged I should be.

Omg, I forgot about Justin Bieber's dumbass Anne Frank comment. Thank you for reminding me, made me laugh.

Totally. I get that Minneapolis is a little bit hipper (at least in its' own eyes), but I'm still kinda confused why. There are so many great places to eat and just hang out in Saint Paul, and our parking is free after 5 - plenty of it if you know where to look and don't mind walking a block or two.

I hate you, this is the best, you monster

I believe that phenomenon is known as "doppelbangers."

I had a Flaming Feminazi once. It was like a Flaming Moe, but with Midol instead of cough syrup. It was pretty good.

Right? Otherwise he'd be doing like I do to relieve stress and yelling at fictional characters on his TV. Man, if I had a nickel for every time I called Bran or Daenerys a "boring cunt," I'd have Lannister money.

You can buy this exact watch for $35 on Amazon.

Well, I thought this was a great story and then got to the comments. Of course it's easier for him to step down with millions in the bank. I appreciate his candor about his decision. I especially like this:

It could be on there, eh?

Oh fine, you so desperately want to talk to me.

Yeah. It's stupid broad. I'm talking about the words I see teenagers use to describe their own activity. They aren't pros at accurately labelling behaviours.

Prince. A few times.

You know what iTunes doesn't censor? Skinny white butts.

I have that saved to my phone now in case I get any unwanted pictures. Beautiful.

Well, shoot. I used to hate avocados and now I love them. Which means I could kill a dozen people in 20 years. Crap.

I can't really imagine that a teenager who's feeling pressure to send an intimate image to someone, but doesn't feel comfortable setting a boundary, is going to feel comfortable sending one of these texts. The sarcastic tone and harsh reply pretty much defeats the purpose.

The pizza farm phenomenon creates pretty much the same noise/crowd shitstorm. City folk clamoring for that authentic farm experience, speeding down country roads, grabbing electrified fences, churning out constant selfies with farm animals. But damn it all if I don't still really, really want their pizza.

Several times a week? I am calling BULLSHIT on that. I am sure all those Tuesday weddings are keeping the chickens up.