Damn! Stephen Gyllenhall? You lucky so-and-so.

Not to be superficial or anything, but that seems completely accurate.

Gah! Selling Pam Grier underwear is the exponential opposite of lame! Especially from Sears of all places. I'd never shut up about that to anyone, in any context. It'd be on my business cards.

I assume you work at a pretentious New York art gallery? Underage whorehouse? Wait, are you Seth Rogen?

If any potential employers asks you about it, I would suggest screaming "Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon!!" like in those Beggin' Strips commercials. If anyone refused to hire you for that, that's not a job you want anyway.

Maybe it was a cross-promotion deal. Did they grab any "fire sauce"?

The 2015 Mercedes-Benz C-Class : For when you fail your state's driving test, but pass Georgia O'Keeffe's Rorschach test.

I was once spam-botted by a spam-bot with a name that was kinda close to Katy Perry..

Yeah, we did wind up meeting Nigel, their cello player, and Bret and Jemaine, and Eugene Mirman, so that was definitely not lame, but the side story involving their cello player and a microscopic roach seems preposterous enough to qualify as lame.

Fuck. If I had ever met Peter Falk, I probably wouldn't have been able to shut up about Wings of Desire. Also, a plane ride with any of the Kids in the Hall would be glorious.

Obviously we're doing our own lame claim to fame thread, right? Ok, I'll start. I once smoked the world's smallest joint with the cello player for Flight of the Conchords.

Hmm. In this context, I assumed "The Venus Project" referred to some next-gen, nanotech, 3-D printable vibrator.

Hey Butters -

Re-reading my post in the slightly more soberish daytime, I realize I sounded more accusatory than I realized. Apologies. And I agree with you that the less normalized and conventional our naming standards the better. Although, I would be intrigued to see a study done on social progression, general happiness, etc.,…

GAHH! As extreme as satire can seem sometimes, it can never hold a candle to the mind-melting stupidity of reality. Also, please don't use gender-loaded terms like "Mother." "Parental Unit" is the preferred nomenclature.

What about in cases like mine, when my father dipped out immediately upon learning of my conception, and my mom raised me herself, not marrying anyone until I was in my 20s? Would I be saddled with my father's last name my whole life, despite having no appreciable relationship with him? Would I be allowed to travel…

Are you sure this girl's parents are real, and not rejected characters from a Portlandia sketch?

Diamond in the back, sunroof top, diggin' the scene with a gangsta lean

Gangstas lean. B-boys limp.

Look, I'm all for banning anyone wearing American Apparel anything from anywhere, but we've got to be consistent at least. I'm looking at you - woman in knee-high socks, underwear and nothing else; and you - too-small leotard and pigtails; and you - creep in molester glasses and Members Only jacket. Everybody outta…