Impressed with their ability to enrich themselves on the backs of others and to exploit a professional hockey player relentlessly, Gary Bettman has offered the Johnsons an expansion franchise.

They're all so wonderful. I don't know I could pick a favorite, let alone six.

Zipline Cam is literally worse than the Oilers

Every time I read an article explaining how white people who think they are helping really aren't... this is the response from so many white people. "I don't know what to do then, maybe I should just do nothing?" If we stay inactive with the excuse of "not accidentally making things worse," we're letting the racist…

Fortunately, Cutler is immune to criticism. Unlike his kids, who aren't immune to a goddamn thing.

So this is what it's like when a story has no hero in it

A gay man showering with a bunch of straight men is nothing like a straight man showering with women. Maybe it would be if we lived in some kind of alternate universe where gay men were constantly sexually assaulting and degrading straight men, but until that happens, you need to get the hell out of here with that.

if you look up strikeout on Wikipedia a picture of Adam Dunn literally shows up

In a bizarre turn of events, it was actually Giroux who was yelling "quit resisting."

It's a tough road. Only two others have been born with that condition, and one's dead. Let's just hope he can make the Jump Jump to the NBA smoothly.

Man, what an inspiring story. I just can't believe Randle made it to the NBA and now gets to play with his idol despite being born with a backwards torso.

There are two reasons I got married. My spouse is awesome and dating is terrible. Why would anyone want to go on dates again?

I don't buy that. It's simplistic and ignores all the broader cultural factors, and ignores that fact that even the bloodthirstiest "bridezilla" has some dude who's willing to marry her, and who lacks the spine to either advocate for the wedding he wants, or find someone else to marry. That weenie doesn't get to…

I wouldn't bet on that, I'm more than sure Dunn struck out on all his picks.

"Minus-five, with chances of a weak Flurry"

He won't be the first person forced to go with Plan B right after getting fucked.

Pictured:

For vain, whiny young women who mistakenly believe in their own relevance as they are cocooned in a bubble of their own outsized egos, Dunham and Mindy Kaling are the Russell and Chamberlain.

Proud of you Jennifer. Don't listen to the assholes. This is how progress is made. Two steps forward, then a hesitant shuffle to the side, and then WHAM, three steps backwards through the air.