How in God’s name did no one mention this one?

Two years ago I received in error a large box full of NFL jerseys that was intended for a sports memorabilia store. Upon opening this box, I thought, “what luck! surely one of these will be worth keeping.”

For those playing along at home who *don’t* spend significant amounts of time wondering if they have brain lesions, it’s called “verbal paraphasia” and specific-for-general replacement is the “subordinate semantic” subtype.

Seems legit to me.

Valparaiso is my favorite! I can never remember where it is and I toured the damn campus.

+1, thanks for restoring my faith in Deadspin comments.

HOLY FUCK I WAS RIGHT:

http://deadspin.com/i-cannot-be-th…

Yes, this. I love my last name, but... My gentleman friend has a very common English noun that most people can pronounce and spell for his surname and I would take it for the efficiency of not having to say every effing letter in my last name ("WITH A K. A K. AND NO, IT'S AN E.") to everyone ever all the time. …

Also: Randy Johnson.

I am a lady and wash my sheets once a week. Before I moved in with my boyfriend? Once a year. Maybe. I bring this fact up every once in a while just to enjoy the look of pure, Hindenburg-level horror it gets me.

"I don't burn bridges, I burn Rivers."

I cannot be the only person in existence that believes this gif would be much improved with the addition of a 19th century gentleman's cane and monocle.

+1

...they had me at "BEER ADVOCATE."

They can't be blamed for not using rule of thirds composition when the Romney campaign only cares about 53% of the frame.