Please the moment this disappeared I lost faith in bundled Windows games.

Well this is stupid.

I guess Russia never heard about THE FIRST AMENDMENT!!

Honestly, deals are not that great for the quality being so low. I prefer to save myself from fighting off the mob of angry maxxinistas.

This clearly flies in the face of everything that Maxxism stands for. Hell you might as well just go to Lenins & things.

Is there a Kenny Rogers Roaster chicken joint outside your window or what?

The response I have formulated after 9+ years of being asked when we are going to “give” our daughter a sibling: “After three miscarriages it became apparent that my uterus is for decorative purposes only. But thanks for reminding me about the most painful and heart-wrenching experience I’ve ever had while also…

Calvin Harris adultosaur would like you to know that Taylor Swift is dreamy and can cook.

All bluegrass bands are good names for male genitalia! Earl and Scruggs are great ball names, and then a quick trip to Wikipedia gave me The Beef Seeds, Bob Paisley and the Southern Grass, The Country Gentlemen, and The Cox Family.

Hmmm, how can I combine my ostentatiously environmentally oriented life choices with a marker of my high income and social status? OH, I KNOW, I’LL MAKE SOMEONE ELSE PARK MY BIKE FOR ME AT A FUCKING MUMFORD AND SONS CONCERT.

I’m 95% sure this is just Daniel Day Lewis Prepping for a role.

As an accountant, I can say that my field is certifiable reverse-racist. We are always asking, “are we in the black?” and then celebrate if so. WHY IS NO ONE ASKING IF WE ARE IN THE WHITE?!?

Well they’re wrong, she IS funny, and as for the other.. well, look I’m gonna level with you. I’m OK with people holding that opinion. The more people who find her unattractive, the better odds I have of her having to settle for me. I’m not saying I’d wish for it, but hey, if the zeitgeist blows that way and I’m the…

“No such thing is possible. In the Talmud, in the Jewish tradition, it says when that part of the male anatomy is aroused and there’s an erection, the brain flies out of that and we have to take that very seriously, so I don’t agree with that.”

I would like this shirt even more if the words “yaaaaaaaaaas, bae on fleek” were on it so.

John Oliver will be doing the same thing with Bud Light Lime!