Cops HATE Her! Baltimore Prosecutor Holds People Responsible for Killing a Guy With This One Weird Trick.

"When crack got dropped off"

The Shocking and Sexy Sex Secrets of Two Secretive People: Kelly Preston and John Travolta

This is what winning the breakup looks like.

“Joni is not in a fake coma,” her representative said. “She does, however, still have a pretend disease.”

I blame the department and let me tell you why. They praise rookie officers. They’ll go around making a 100 arrests a month, and they’ll praise them. These rookie officers will do anything to get an arrest because they want more praise, you know what I’m saying? This is the result of it. They arrested Gray for some…

Joni Mitchell is in a coma and unresponsive

you seem fun

Just like push-up bras and makeup and a bunch of other expensive stuff. You need all that stuff to be empowered. Being empowered is expensive.

I adore my Spanx, I find them comfortable for up to 10 hours, and I’m not ashamed of being fat. I like to look smooth, keep my dresses from clinging, and protect my privacy. That’s all. When did Spanx become anti-feminist? I LOVE mine and I don't think my feminist membership card is in jeopardy because if it.

I dated a guy who’s family decorated their home in Pepsi memorabilia. I once made the mistake of bringing a diet coke into their home, once, ONCE.

People who like Pepsi are weird.

I won’t, and it is.

Food Babe is the worst, but Annie's shells and aged cheddar is the superior boxed mac'n'cheese so it's all moot for me.

yeah but whatever because Annie’s is infinitely better than Kraft

Have you seen a picture of his peen? Dude is hung like a horse. It’s terrifying.

One time in LA, I watched a dude order a double meat Seafood Sensation / Cheesesteak hybrid. He sheepishly looked at me and said “Surf and Turf”. Haven’t had Subway since.

Meanwhile, Justin Guarini is pretty excited for the mention.

I would fuck him so hard the rat tail would fall off. And I would fuck him so hard because I would want the rat tail to fall off. (Because then I could just fuck him normal.)

There is not a single instance on this planet where I would not have sex with Shia, and I don’t care what that says about me because he is a gd dime piece and makes me feel weird things in my bathing suit area.