Well apparently I've been getting stoned all wrong for all these years because all it makes me wanna do is eat pizza and watch Adam Sandler movies. I've not once wanted to set my neighbors driveway on fire while on the pot.

I usually love her looks but this isn't working for me. Looks like a bridemaids dress and the lip color is a bit too dark for her. Saaawwwwwwyyy :-(

Yes! He's always making jokes that are not jokes at all, they're just him being a dick and making fun of someone. Anyway, I unfollowed him so TAKE THAT, Rainn Wilson! Showed him!! Lol

I didn't see it, did he seem really condescending and into himself? That's how he comes off on Twitter.

Rainn Wilson is a bit of a douche on Twitter, which actually came as a surprise to me.

Is...she doing the Dougie?

I just don't get the whole not "letting" each other do things. Why would anyone marry a dude they have to forbid from doing things? Strip clubs are completely harmless and if my husband is going to a bachelor party I'm not going to make him feel like a child by telling him he can't be around strippers. They're just…

What??? No.

My puppy took like 3 months to show any real interest in me other than my being the lady that gave her food so I would go for it. Puppies are curious about everything new and you aren't the first human they've met so you're not that interesting (yet!)

Yeah. It's pretty horrible, I don't know how this dude can feel good about himself. We are all desensitized to it in this city, though. I wonder how long he's been here to be so callous or if he's just sort of a prick. I lost a few high school friends to heroin, found one of them dead in my best friend's bathroom,…

For our friends here that are unfamiliar with the heroin lean, there's a horrible website at www.thatguysonheroin.com that will familiarize you with it pretty quickly. It's pretty unmistakable and very, very sad. I once had to stop my car to push a man back onto the sidewalk after I saw him doing the lean off of a…

Well I must be a pretty shitty slut because I've been training for a long time with no forseeable opportunity for a promotion.

For realz, he's just a nice, good guy and we want more from him because...why? This shit is where the "bitches be crazy" nonsense comes from. We fucking complain about everything.

I can assure you this looks much more fun than it is. Tiny puppy teeth and claws hurt like a motherfucker!

Thank god another grown up has admitted to liking that song!!!!

Yes, my old vet told me to wait until my Rhody was full grown but the new vet says that's incorrect so I'm thinking it's just whatever your particular vet believes.

I think she is wrong and you're supposed to fix dogs before their first heat but everyone seems to have different opinions on these types of things.

Fuck. That. I don't care about the money, that is no fucking way to live. You can't even have a life. What a nightmare.

Post it here, mamma! They will read it.

No shame, girl. I love it too!