He read it but most of it was obscured by the barbecue sauce he spilled all over it.

Nah, he’s read it. But he learned as a preacher that a lot of people don’t like to read, so you just have to interpret (coughliecough) the source material through the lens of your own agenda, and if you save people the trouble of reading it, they’ll follow you blindly and give you $$$.

And I always felt like I was the Queen of Hearts but you don’t see me trying to behead people left and right. Please keep that in mind if the police talk to you. I have no idea how those heads got there.

Saw this yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it. I keep asking people how this stunt is any different from that whole “Sharia Law” term that gets thrown about in horror by Christians. Isn’t that fear, in essence, a group of people holding the laws of their faith above the laws of the land?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Kim Davis’ understanding of religious freedom is seriously flawed. The marriage license only indicates that the couple has met the legal requirements to qualify for marriage. It does NOT confer religious acceptance of the marriage, so her religion isn’t being violated as far…

A nation where Christmas decorations start appearing in stores before Labor Day can not possibly be a nation where Christians are oppressed for their faith.

The new building will be completely erected by 2017 and will pump God’s love through the entire campus, reminding students that he rains his affection down upon them every time they glimpse its bulging tip thrusting towards the sky.

Good for them. They’ve been in need of a big ol’ dick ever since their founder died.

I AM DONE WITH THESE PEOPLE. Hate abortion? Don’t have one! Feel your white person narrowly defined hatred laced Christianity is being threatened? Get your shit and go find an island to live on where you can perpetuate and grow your lunacy like your nutcase forefathers did. Don’t want to do that? THEN SIT DOWN, SHUT…

god thats so much shittier than my logic ugghhhhhhh. buying a body cam now and wearing it all the time. (jk that still wont work because woman)

People aren’t having more children. They’re actually having fewer than they ever have in all of human history. The reason why the global population is increasing is because people are surviving childhood and living longer. Neither of those things are bad. They are, in fact, an extraordinary triumph of human ingenuity…

I’m pretty sure that my existence is based entirely on spite and look how well I turned out.

Your misplaced uterus is gathering with other free uterii to plan the liberation of the uterus currently possessed by Michelle Duggar. It’s overused and needs a break.

I mean, we didn’t need really Tito, Jackie, Jermaine, or Marlon.

I bought myself a velour tracksuit solely because of that video. Also the rest of this is accurate and I tip my hat to you.

Now I’m going to have 230 kids just to spite you.

I lost my uterus (I like to say “misplaced” b/c it gets good looks from people) a while back, and it’s a sucky thing to go through. Since I’m sure Kim K is scouring the Jez comments for advice, wink, here are some good things to focus on:
1. You’ll never have to buy tampons again, and you can re-purpose your existing…

Which is why when I hear people criticizing mothers for choosing “medicalized” births over “natural” ones “because women have been doing it for thousands of years” I reflexively respond “...and it killed many of them.” And no, making people wash their hands before helping deliver a child did not magically change that,

Oh, hell no. He doesn’t deserve happiness. You AIR THIS SHIT OUT to the wife’s family by any means necessary, as quickly as possible. Annulments are easier than divorces.