Whenever I see pictures from this shitshow I am hearing the following:

Disclaimer: My brother sent me this. I did not make it myself 

Jeez Paul, why not just wear a sign that says "I'm a racist" on you at all times? Cuz that's one goddamn racist take.

This Every morning

If Ben wants to fuck off to Cambodia forever, that would be Phnompenhal.

Maybe Ben can pack a wife and finally take that holiday in Cambodia.

I haven’t been this distraught since Pol Pot died.

I hope it was his pinning arm. 

This is a cart fire, you’re thinking of a dumpster fire, easy mistake.

I thought they played the Browns last week? 

maybe he liked getting jerked off, but it took everyone way too long to do it, so they hurt their arms, but his need to be jerked off was so insatiable that he kept paying more and more people to do it, but no one could get him off, so they just pulled their muscles trying to please him.  

I can’t wait for Tua’s press conference — the one where he announces he’s not entering the draft and returning to Alabama for his senior season.

Last September, according to a timeline of events provided by the Anchorage School District, a swim team parent went so far as to take photos of the teenager at a swim meet and then send them to others

Apparently some people can get CTE from coaching football.

If steroids are what it took to kill that mustache dead, then it was all worth it.

“Adam Gase had a chance to set the tone for the Jets’ season.”

Maybe if the NRA didn't move away from gun safety and responsible use to calling for the murder of brown people and liberals....

You are right. I watched all five episodes this year. It’s called Hard Knocks.

This is a humiliating mulligan in which everyone loses face, feet, wallets, and reputations.

Have you seen the book though? It's like a hundred thousand pages long. I read it in paperback and it was (almost) thicker than it was tall