If people using selfie sticks are getting hit by lightning then I’ve finally found a way to reconcile my belief in Darwin with my belief in God.

Oh, no! Burneko, I thought you were cool! Turns out you’re just another shithead :(

Well, considering the Wells report was systematically torn apart using logic and science, its hard to say anything actually happened.

Filed to: TASE HIM BRO. Nothing more than this needed.

Yall fuckers are like the top 5 reason I can’t wait for Google to drive us to work.

No actually it's the one that reads Yankees 27 Cardinals 11.

Would that be the one that said “Giants 6, Cardinals 3”?

This is because way too many managers refuse to back their employees.

You know who else left their trash in the movie theater? HITLER!

I couldn’t disagree with this more. Playoff hockey is extremely unpleasant when I’m watching my own team—it’s a near-constant heart attack. From a pure enjoyment perspective, I’d much rather watch neutral teams. I can enjoy the actual game more, even if I’m not as invested in the outcome.

I know right? The women in society get all the breaks and men are always forced to just bend over and take it.

FIFA is going to have the US win the World Cup so we drop all these charges.

Wait, she’s been in need of a “comeback”?

* Get stuck in traffic going 60 mph. Realize you’re no long in California where traffic moves at 80.

...what the fuck is wrong with you people?

“and the poor parking lot guy got the crap kicked out of him for the crime of wanting Taco Bell” Admittedly, this is kind of a minor crime, but not one that warrants a beating.

I think the number of people holding their nose and voting for Hillary will far outnumber those supporting her ecstatically.

10,000 words and not a one even entertaining the possibility that Janay Rice has actually forgiven her husband and wants to facilitate his return to football, if only to improve their material position in life?

You know damn well you should have used Yakety Sax for this.

yakety sax makes everything awesomer!