If you’re bored, you can find things to do to make your day less boring.

If there’s a gold colored substance on the field, how would people know it wasn’t piss?

I have called out saying “I’m basically dead” but somehow, nobody taking that call ever told the entire place that I had kicked the bucket, ceased to be, shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisible.

But why would you want to?

Uh, I don’t know how much more public you can be when you’re a member of the media who signs off with your name!

If it’s a number you don’t recognize and, you should not answer it with your name.

Mediocrity would be 9-7, 8-8, 7-9.

Nah, Redskins is appropriate. And not racist.

I grew up a Washington fan and even skipped school to attend their parade after they won the Super Bowl under Gibbs.

The only time where it’s acceptable to hit another person (in a non-sports context) is when they’re trying to hurt you, a friend, or a family member. Otherwise, no matter what they are saying, you will be the one to go to jail.

It’s always the guys who yap the most that are the worst at fighting.

You know, I think that menu could have used a little more garlic. Really explore the kitchen space. Because I’m telling you, fellas, you’re gonna want more garlic.

Yeah, this isn’t a Peyton Manning/Ryan Leaf situation, where everyone was talking about how you couldn’t go wrong with either quarterback. This is a there’s one guy who’s clearly better than the next guy situation. Oh, and by the way, the next guy? He’s got some off field issues, too.

Take the wild gestures away and is what he said out of line?

He didn’t look any worse than Matt Kemp does in right field during his stint with the Padres. And good for them for not letting him wear 19.

Why is there a senior discount these days anyway?

The places I frequent give me a discount of around 30 percent on everything I order because I’m a regular.

If God is anything like the people who thump their Bibles the hardest claim, He’s a God I want nothing to do with.

It must be God’s will if they, oh, I don’t know, accidentally fall into a meat grinder with nobody around to turn it off. I mean, if God wanted them to not suffer horrible pain before they died, He wouldn’t have put them near that meat grinder in the first place, right?

Are the Patriots bending the rules? Sure. But who doesn’t? And maybe they cross the line every now and then.