If you've got 40 people, why the hell wouldn't you call ahead to set up a special event? Get yourself a special menu with a discount, dumbasses!

Please slit your throat and put it on a webcam so I can enjoy watching you bleed out.

I'm a great human being to people I like and care about.

No, no tears. A huge smile, but no tears.

Except I do help homeless people, jackass.

Interesting mix of states there. Good to see that sometimes, political affiliation and the other NRA does not trump human decency.

I'm fine with people giving 15 percent. Giving 20 is easier and nicer and anything above that is really going above.

Let me distill Sarah Bartlett down into a tl;dr format.

I'm very skeptical about those "only one in five women come forward with rape charges" in light of the fact that we've been told that one in four women are sexually assaulted in college.

I have a hard time with people who claim that if a woman has two glasses of wine and you hook up with her she was too drunk to give consent but that's not the case here.

Ask Hardy's girlfriend how that feels.

From the screen capture you're using, it looks like it will hit the rim and then, who knows? It's probably not going to go in, but since he touched the ball, we never get to find out.

Those pucks were just asking for it. They get slapped around with sticks all day long and get handled all up and down the ice. Dirty sluts.

There's still a role for guys like Tootoo, who actually have some skill. Their pot stirring skills and ability to drop the gloves are a bonus. A fourth line guy who can drop the gloves and get under the skin of the opponent's players is an asset.

Enjoy your megachain lowest common denominator corporate product!

Yes, it's crap. Yes, it's exploitation with a marching band. But tell me you won't be watching, and I'll tell you that 98 percent of you are liars.

"On a grill."

You should turn down an offer for a Starbuck's run every time, BCO or not, because they have mediocre coffee.

Don't forget more Duke semen than the alleged rape victim of their lacrosse team ever alleged got on her.

Does Baseball Reference come in a leather bound edition?