So, the Yankee fans are embracing that the only reason they win is poaching?

Just put them in 10km eggs (2% rate, IDGAF) and give the rural players a chance, thanks.

Holy shit, you suck.

I watch this episode and then Homeward Bound back to back when I really want to feel like a piece of shit.

Then I go hug my dog all night.

Then I read that hugging dogs can give them anxiety. But I let her poop on her blanket when it’s raining to hard outside, so she can be nervous for a couple minutes, damn it.

THIS JUST IN: Rally the cat to be euthanized by team doctors after having contrasting opinions on Ferguson and Darren Wilson.

I was on a business trip with my company from Baltimore. It was 2013 and the Ravens won the AFC game against the Pats and were headed to the Super Bowl.

After a night of much drunken reveling (the game ended at 7pm out on the west coast), I passed out in the back of the Uber, and my boss punched me in the arm to wake…

I’d hate him more if I could figure out how to see him. This was a great pantomime act by Shinsuke.

HE WAS BORN IN 1997. JESUS FUCK.

I want you to be wrong, but it always always happens.

Manly answer: Homeward Bound.

Pussy true answer: Stuart Little.

HE WAS A MOUSE WHOSE PARENTS WERE KILLED IN A GROCERY STORE, AND NOW HE THINKS DR. GREGORY HOUSE DOESN’T WANT HIM.

Deadspin told me the Orioles matter back in 2012. I believe in Deadspin.

But what the fuck is going on with this season? YOU TOLD ME THAT WE MATTER.

Gotta go younger. Zac Efron, probably.

dozens of highly ranked safety schools. FTFY.

Maybe. How hot is your sister?

Out of nowhere, though. Like he noticed a spot of blue paint on the public bathroom that looked lighter than the rest of the bathroom and had to let every possible employee know someone did it wrong.

I grew up with one, too. But only because we shared a beach house with his brother’s family and left the house a wreck every time.

Arturo, you son of a bitch.

*extremely flexed handshake hi five thing*

Level 35? Fuck.

Ramon.

Fucking madmen, I tell you.

Cruiserweight?

Enzo-worth? (Ellsworth gets kicked over to Raw after the MitB incident and starts a tag team of misfits)