Shh, he’s with Zeus, now.

Miyazaki is the Michael Jordan of anime directors.

Martin Luther King, Omarosa, Kanye West...

Shit.


Shit shit shit.

I’d be okay with Pence at this point.

A racist old bigoted white former governor as President sounds a lot better than a twitter-addicted real estate celebrity with no government knowledge or experience as President.

One of Trump’s first direct orders as President was to have Sean Spicer tell the press they’re mean and…

Tractor trailer driving Trump supporters attempted another ‘rolling protest’ and called it something lame like “Track-or-jail-her.”

Also, we have no coffee in this reality. And sheep have been extinct since 2001. Please contact Dr. Walter Bishop. He may be known as John Noble in your reality. Send coffee grounds and…

I like to watch these videos as an alternate reality in which Hillary or Bernie was elected:

Dejected white families staring at a television.

That sounds like our CFO who challenges people to foosball if they want a raise.

Does #45 mean Keith Moon and John Entwistle come back from the dead and the Who go out on tour and kill everyone?

I mean, I’d be okay with going out that way as long as they play “A Quick One” before they do it.

Fake trees are the only way to go.

Dragging a real tree in to your house, buying a stand, tree skirt, lights, vaccuming up after the needles fall off, pretty much adopting a 6 foot tall pet that doesn’t do anything and smells nice for three weeks is batshit insane.

Pro wrestling isn’t real.

But it’s enjoyable predetermined stunt fighting.

That kid is every Wizard fan, but that uninterested distant woman is every mother in the DC metro area.

When is the last time that made a headline, though? I heard a lot of talk about it right after she beat Bernie in the primaries, but lately, with Barack and Bernie stumping for her, the party seems rather unified.

But they can have shitty upscale restaurants near Lakeshore that charge you $15 for a hot dog.

No, but I will point you to 2016.

Either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton are going to be President.

Protesting Native Americans are being shot at, having dogs sent on them and hosed down with fire hoses after a bunch of white people voted to move a pipeline into sacred land.

Racial injustices are showing up on our…

Or a disgusting old orange man climbing on top of her. Let’s have gender equality, here!

Also barfing. Let’s all barf, now.

A great sports year amongst a year of political turmoil and dozens of beloved celebrities dying.

I’d rather have a boring sports year.

One of Pennsylvania’s best and brightest, I’m sure.

I want Stan Lee to show up in a dress. See how Tokyo deals with THAT.

I was able to watch Walking Dead and Westworld and still come back in time for this bullshit.

I could’ve been asleep.

I saw this coming back in February.

“We should let the American people have a say.”

“The American people elected a Democrat.”

“Pshhh, fuck that shit. Let’s keep this party going!”