Born on Thanksgiving, 1986. First big story I remember was the Nancy Kerrigan attack in January 94.

I must’ve just turned 7, and I remember the news playing the “WHYYYY WHYYYYY!?” clip. Stuck with me.

I will never tire of this. In the fall, can Deadspin do it for the St. Louis Ra—

oof.

If only the Cards could lose 500 games in one season.

Tell me more about your superior swimsuit model girlfriend.

But they’ve already been crucified by Deadspin all season.

Checking in again. You’ve lost 33 games, now. I thought you were on the team. Get it together, man.

I impulsively voted Schilling for throwing Hitler around, but upon reading your comment, you’re right. Fuck. Rovell should win based on smugness and cringeworthiness.

Only 9.5 games back! You can do it!

And I say “you” assuming you’re helping the team win by being butthurt on Deadspin.

Can we blame Hulk Hogan’s penis yet? Or Nick Denton’s desire to look at Hulk Hogan’s penis?

Can we blame Hulk Hogan’s penis for this yet? Or just the fact that Nick Denton really wanted to show Hulk Hogan’s penis?

Dabbing is going to be the one legged chicken dance of this generation’s white people.

The Orioles announcers always seem to stay pretty impartial, except for O’s home runs or big plays.

Unless Jim Palmer is announcing. He’s got a big old throbber for the Yankees.

“Your brother-in-law who starts watching the NBA during the conference finals probably had takes about how this was a key thing for the Cavaliers”

I do. I thrive off this shit.

No, you’re right. I know plenty of children born in 1988. They can’t change a flat tire or file taxes. They have college degrees, an ill-fitting work interview outfit and they lust after Thirsty Thursdays, but they go home tired and bored at 11pm.

They’re 18 months off Obamacare and they’re clinging to Buzzfeed…

“btw, you never held the fucking door for me.”

Vertical Video is a sin.

Hushpuppies? Corn Bread? Baked Beans?

What? The? Fuck?

Oh wait, I forgot you live in New York and were once on Chopped.

The proper top 3 are Pickles, Potato Salad and Mac and Cheese. Any order will do.

The fuck, Drew?

I changed my major from journalism to graphic design way back in 2005.

And now I see an article like this and realize I could’ve had a career with Gawker.

Godfuckingdammit.