The pink comments on Drew's article today are just the best. Random capitalization, lack of apostrophes, ellipses instead of periods, it's like the comments on AOL. Which brings me to my question to you, what percent of Americans should have their internet taken away? 95 percent, right?

Well said, Drew. I think it bears repeating that we're talking about a sport where people are already paid to run as fast as they can to knock an opposing player to the ground as quickly and forcefully as they can. That's what defense in football is. To get mad about players being give a comparatively small amount to…

White boy on Murray State just got sack-tapped in the huddle before the final possession. THAT'S GOOD FOCUS, BOYS!

It's not me. I'm Sir Ian McKellan.

You're welcome Mr. Hamm. I like to think that through you through your character on Mad Men, that I, too, have boffed January Jones. We are kindred spirits.

I'm way late to this, but good lord is this outstanding.

He refused to share his recipe for delicious frittatas.

Hamilton appeared on Glenn Beck on [GBTV.com] with guest host Dr. James Robison

He's not picking his nose, he fell off the wagon and is taking a bump of oxycontin.

Spring World in Chicago's Chinatown is far and away the best Chinese I've ever had. They have a TV, but it's always set to CCTV and as the only white person who really frequents the place, I've never seen if they'll put anything else on. It's BYOB, but there's a decent liquor store right next door.

The reason I've taken out my penis and started waving it furiously at the computer screen is because I wanted to congratulate you on a fantastic piece of writing while still making a dick joke.

Still better than the kicking orgy I walked in on at my weird Uncle Gary's.

She probably was unwilling to go on record against a popular figure and be painted as his jilted lover who was then screwing his accuser. ESPN is normally a shithole, but I generally hold OTL a good cut above the rest of the company in terms of journalistic bent and integrity.

Clearly you are forgetting the Michigan-Michigan State game in which they unleashed... THE BEES!

"WELCOME TO BARACK OBAMA'S AMERICA!" yelled Rick Perry, as he stood pantless in cowboy boots and firing a high caliber pistol at the birds in his birdbath.

Well done again, Barry.

Bad news for Sox fans. That lobster was being cryogenically frozen until such a time when it could be reanimated as a replacement left fielder for Juan Pierre. Even when frozen, the lobster demonstrated a superior batting eye and throwing ability.

Second the Glenmorangie 10 year. My roommates got me this for my birthday last year and I've never felt so loved.

"Way to get raped and have it covered up by our senile figurehead of a head coach, resulting in his firing, you fag."

They hate their show and are bored of it. They basically said as much at the season's midway point and it becomes glaringly obvious when they do jokes that purposefully aren't funny as a fuck you to people who still watch. Which is a shame, because based on the Book of Mormon, Matt and Trey still very much have it.