He was also tired of having to buy Bar Keeper's Friend for the kid's real Athlete's Foot.

I wasn't there for the tryouts, but if getting beat by bunting is the biggest concern on this kid, that is a fucktarded reason to cut someone. Bunting has been shown to be statistically less effective than swinging away, most high school kids suck at it anyway, your taking away even the opportunity for an extra base…

When asked about the amazing four-point play, Rutgers student Ashley D'Angelo was incredulous, exclaiming, "I didn't even know numbers went that high!"

told a few of his players that their teammate's father was "a drunk, and the apartment he lives in is probably government housing.

Is Jack Dickey a pseudonym for the Emeritus? I saw this link on Leitch's twitter yesterday.

I avoided it all together. I just don't care and didn't click in order to give the symbolic gesture that this isn't what I want from Deadspin. I didn't have a problem with Favre or whatever, but I don't really like the way we occasionally put the microscope to people who've already lost it (Salisbury) or never asked…

DUAN, fun game I was playing with my friends: what tv show title would double as a nickname for an athlete's penis?

Triple post, impressive. FOR THIS GRAVE MISTAKE I WILL MERCILESSLY TOGGLE YOUR STAR!

Things that I could use/use information on with the redesign:

It's even weirder if you've seen this video: [www.youtube.com]

My lone female roommate is currently vacuuming the TV room. Kill her?

@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: Because each Super Bowl ring qualifies as a "get out of rape allegations free" card. And Ben would really like to have one of those back in his pocket.

@alex_mcg: Trick question, Phintastic always wears a lampshade to prevent the government from reading his thoughts.

@kicking222: Hickey summed it up best this morning: No, I don't like the Never Missed A Super Bowl Club, but my disdain is reserved solely for Mr. Excitement, Larry Jacobson. Here's hoping Robert Cook only loses a gimmick, not a life.

Confession Deadspin:

@kicking222: Old people getting extremely sick and having to be hospitalized! WHOO! HIGH FIVE BRO!

@EddieSuttons SouthernComfort: As did their white girlfriends.

I HATE ALL FORMS OF CHANGE! BACK TO A WHITE MAN IN 2012!

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: Suspends... For Life is what the judge told me would happen if I drove my car through yet another petting zoo.

No, no Dan. The horns have nothing to do with you being Jewish. They have everything to do with you being a colossal asshole.