@Achiever: Todd Haley just signed Tucker Max to be his new broffensive coordinator.

@All Over But The Sharting: ONANists? Fuck you.

@Why So Egregious?: If by owns, you mean enjoys a slight 12-10 advantage in head to head bowl matchups since 2003, then yes.

Deadspin Fails To Correctly Upload Image

@vodkanaut: I just want to sit on one of them and have him carry me around. Is that weird?

@OchentaYcinco: Especially after seeing the new willingness to criticize the NCAA, I'm really shocked no one calls Goodell on being a straight bastard. He really is a tremendous son of a bitch.

So Andrew Luck's a brilliant architect unwilling to work with second-rate impostors like the Carolina Panthers? I think Ayn Rand just got a hard-on.

YOU CANNOT RESIST THE SILVER MONKEY.

Just mentioning Jahn's name sends architects scurrying for cover.

Stephen Hawking just released a great video essay on quasars on youtube under the username ihavepalsylefthand.

I had to take a certain angle that most young receivers wouldn’t have taken. Any other angle and it would have been a bum play.

John Kruk's Odd, Lopsided Genitalia Satisfies A Lot Of Women, Actually

@AzureTexan: Nothing gets you ripped like putting a boot in a foreign person's ass.

@Hatey McLife: The Dolphins plan on ditching all of Pennington in there when the Jets aren't looking.

Uppity Mayo: The new flavor from Heilmann's. Try it in the bedroom!

@WashingtonForeskins: Rachael Roxxx in a pillow fort to the Pirates of the Carribean theme song.

It didn't help Favre's case when he masturbated to Exhibit C on the first day of court. Judge banged his gavel for like twenty minutes, but he refused to stop before he was satisfied.

The Snowpocalypse looked even more like a Mad Max wasteland when Mel Gibson strapped two Vietnamese men to his feet and started throwing snow globes at pedestrians on 34th street.

Something about his offense made me think Belichick would be a Wonderbread kind of guy. I was wrong.

@WashingtonForeskins: Hey cool, we can be the new kids in the group.