To qualify for the All-SEC Academic Team, one must be able to correctly spell the word "academic" with a +/- 2 letter margin of error.

@MarkKelsosMigraine: Fantastic.

@Maloik: Four Loko was banned in Michigan yesterday. My roommates

Ah yes point guard, the thinking man's position.

@Chris.Kaman.Her.Face: They actually have similar dictions and mannerisms, as well as the IQ of a racist five year old.

@BruschisBrewsky: They could've also done a Prozac crossover because the fact that I live in a country where this is a product depresses me tremendously.

@BruschisBrewsky: Can the state of Kentucky put their hands down now? They need them to eat more deep fried mayonnaise.

Randy Moss don't eat no peasant shit. His palate is refined as fuck.

@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns: That's because the unnamed animal it's made of is now extinct.

@IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: +1 head in the freezer. That's tender meat right there.

Reminds me of my wife. She rolls over any time I say "sex?"

@The_International_Poise_Conspi...: I like the reviews that say the recipes aren't for everyone. Who wouldn't want to jack off into their chicken marsala before eating it?

@The_International_Poise_Conspi...: The Jezebelles don't make me nearly enough cakes for my liking. And when they do, it always tastes like male hegemony.

Goodell is actually holding the meeting to tell Jenn which types of cake he would most like to eat off of her cleavage. I hear funfetti might go number one overall.

That tweet is really heartbreaking. The Notre Dame coaching staff should be absolutely ashamed for even allowing a kid to go up there, let alone asking him to do so. You're adults and all it takes is a small child to realize that was a fucking terrible idea.

@Walk Off HBP: Where we're going we don't need Rhodes.

Could somebody please try to talk to the rainbow fish? I'm sure he's heartbroken over the death of his mentor, but he won't answer my calls.

I hear that Dachau is a lot like Knoxville, in that everybody refuses to shower.

Who wants to bet that the 113 people who voted that they would side with the WOA were really all just Todd Stordahl voting and refreshing the page over and over again?

@Bullet_Tooth_Tony: