Dern kids and their fidgit spinnin’.

Why does it have ducts on it’s wing struts?

I am stealing “Lawn and Auction Edition” from you.

I need an app just like this, only it needs to mistakenly identify every car as being a fake car from a movie or TV show.

Please tell me it is for a casino, full of hookers and blow. In fact forget about the casino.

I went nice price on this one. The coachwork is outstanding and to the right person (which I am not) totally worth it. If I was the right person, I would take it to the drag strip every day I could and make a moderately fast run to give the kids something cool to watch.

You made me star a pun. You’re dead to me nooooooo... Aaaaaarrrrghhhhhh!

My (used) car comes in at $37/hp. Now I need a sticker that says, “Dollars per Horsepower, Baby!”

Why are you washing stuff when you could be riding?

Did I miss the part where these things are just the nosiest planes ever?

My wife has gotten us two good running cars for free off Craigslist.

The Model T has 20HP and a top speed of 45MPH. If I had to pick the car that was gonna T-bone my wife’s car at an intersection it would be the Model T.

I have always wondered why people leave their wallets in their cars.

Huh. I fully expected it to end with you tied up naked in a chair with the seat cut out and Jay saying, “And now Mr. Torchinsky, Jalopnik spy, we have a few questions for you.”

He has had it for 11 years and it burns 3 quarts of oil a day.

That’s if there is anybody actually at the airport.

One lone Uber driver does not constitute “folks”. Though the fact that it is a Prius is funny.

I saw the headline picture and thought...

More than 84 gallons of oil leaks into water supplies just naturally from the ground, without the intervention of man at all, every day. In the pipeline’s  case, it may have never touched the ground, just spilled into containment.