And yet somehow *I* was the mediawhore/distraction.

Right right. And a firm handshake at the end should any of his teammates be on base, lest we think he may have forgotten their contributions to his RBI total.

A sprint around the bases though. Don’t want people to think you’re milking that HR, boy!

I’m hoping that, in the ultimate act of trolling, Puig celebrates his next home run by delicately setting his bat down aside home plate prior to beginning around the bases.

Their desire for increased ticket sales for their second home game is understandable, considering it's also the annual "New York City Fire Fighters/Bobby Bonilla Pension Fund" night at Citi Field.

How is this not filed to lolmets?

I remember this day vividly. Was drowning my sorrows at a shithole dive in Hoboken, NJ. The Coors Light on tap (it was on special, shut up) tasted like butter. So, yeah, let's do everything we can to increase the odds of me reliving that. Thanks guys.

I love this idea. It would be even better if MLB opened up online streaming for nonsubscribers that day.

Sepp Blatter and Roger Goodell are trapped in a burning building, and you have time to save one of them.

Has anyone noticed that over the past decade the Mets medical staff announcing that a player has a "minor injury" is an even bigger kiss of death than a coach/manager getting a vote of confidence from upper management?

Andy Reid would shit his pants on the first touchdown of the season

My idea: after the two point conversion, a team can kick a 60-yard PAT for another two points, but it's double or nothing. Make it? You get your 10 points. Miss? Back down to six.

let's all go to starbucks to discuss this further.

"This is not a drill! It's a hammer and nails... Now let's see if you can actually complete a fucking cross, Tim."

This is really on the players, and not on management. Not one of those guys has had a heat check all season.

My strategy is more concise:

This wouldn't be the first time Amanda Palmer sang over something free and it was a complete disaster.

"If Babe Ruth didn't get 100%, then no one gets 100%"