I was going to give "thug" a pass but then started throwing things when I got to "vegan." Cheese or GTFO.

incorrect. you cannot make lasagna without cheese, and those sad, pale things they call 'vegan cheese' are unworthy of mention.

I'm ready...

With the important work of rehabilitating freckles done, let's turn our attention to reclaiming the beer gut.

Hey hey, let's try to give them credit where credit is due. They're also a joke in many other areas.

There's a point to Kinja? Because it's failing miserably. Comments around here were 200x better a couple years ago. Old articles popping up make it all too obvious.

You should probably turn in your jalop card now...

She better hope that kid doesn't have a blowout all over that couture. I even put towels down before my fully clothed kid nursed because she would poop UP HER BACK. The first time it happened, it was so loud and messy that I thought I broke her.

Damn, I read the headline as "Now you can control your Telsa with your sandwich"

A bicycle inner tube on a tailpipe makes some good sounds!

Cars that come in actual colors instead of two shades of black, white, and silver. The roads need more orange, purple, and bright blue cars.

One that's paid for - kids are NOT cheap.

I thought she meant the Duggars, and I have no excuse.

My name is Kenny... and I'm a cockoholic. I haven't had a man in three days.

The happiness on this lady's face just makes my DAY. Also, I'm not crying, you're crying.

Car of Texas

Head, shoulders, knees and toes.

If you can't dodge a wrench, you probably cant dodge a BMW.

Driver: "Just read the pace notes, please!"

Maybe I AM your dad! You never call anymore.