You know how someone goes into a pool hall, loses badly, and then bets a bunch of money and cleans up...

I did festivals in New Orleans for years when I was a kid. If you’re used to the heat it’s not a problem. The only time things went poorly is when they ran out of water.

Some of my favorite people are cocksuckers.

I rented a Chrysler for a family vacation and I thought the fobs were stuck together too. My father-in-law rented the same vehicle. I saw his fob was separated and thought he had broken it, but no, there was a magic button that released the old-school metal key, which also was where the two fobs joined together. Left…

I used to drive a bright yellow sedan. One guy rear ended me and then told me he didn’t see me. People are stupid and don’t pay attention.

Good for them. While Bravo probably isn’t as bad as MTV, I was so proud of my favorite bar when they booed out the cast of their train wreck reality show.

Fucking hell. That’s one killer chick.

Like the lack of turn signals or the requirement that you drive worse than the stereotypical Beemer driver?

I’ve got a car with a thrown rod. I put it on craigslist, but haven’t even replied to anyone yet because it’s either a lowball offer (which I might take since they probably know it’s for parts only) or someone who sounds like they have no idea what that means and they’ll show up at my house expecting to drive it away.

Hasn’t Waco been on the list of towns to nuke from orbit for a while now? Seriously. That place is a shithole between Austin and Dallas and the only reason it still exists is because of the 35 split.

I love my minivan/livingroom on wheels.

This seems like an awful babymobile. Hauling 30lbs of kid and carrier into something that big has got to be a huge pain.

Since it’s a limited run, don’t they get a pass on the emissions? I thought the rule was average across fleet.

Salt in wound. My 03 WRX just threw a lower rod. Way too much to replace the engine. Gonna have to retire her. :(

Tea bagging is a thing.

I floated my old VW fox once. It kept right on going through and out of the water, but eventually water seeped into the distributor and that stopped the engine. I left it overnight and it started right up the next afternoon after drying out.

Forget this, I need a push to get the slow driver out of the left lane button.

This was my dream car when it came out. My lawn mowing business wouldn’t support the habit though.

I like being able to find my yellow car in the parking lot. If everyone had colorful cars I’d actually have to remember where I parked.

Dear Lotus,