7/5/12 - BREAKING: ESPN NFL Analyst Chris Mortensen reports that sources say Chris Broussard is terrible at breaking headlines.

Timmy's problems are different. He lost 30 lbs over the offseason - a huge total for a guy who was already a waif - and hasn't regained his velocity or durability since. Also, he stopped smoking weed and eating junk food/In-N-Out before games. That may sound like an improvement, but when you take a finely tuned…

No doubt, given his personal history and that he's been admirably outspoken on the issue. (Also, not to play too much into stereotypes, but I think a Canadian-based NHL team wouldn't suffer too much backlash over signing a gay player. At least not as much as, say, a major college football program or NFL or MLB club.…

Exactly. I don't think any prospect would willingly put themselves through that. And I don't think many teams would put up with that heat for a guy who may never end up being a major contributor. One benefit that the separate leagues gave blacks was that it showed teams they could have a competitive advantage if they…

Barney is a caricature though; there's a knowing "wink-wink" going on when NPH plays him because he's so over the top that it's like the audience is part of an inside joke. It's progress, but I'm waiting for when a gay actor can play the lead, have a romantic relationship with a woman, and it not be all part of a big…

The Hollywood comparison is closer than you think. You want your prominent players to be the "face" of your franchise; I'm not sure if people are ready for a gay male to be the frontman for their beloved team. As for someone like Strasburg, he is already at The Show; no team would be insane enough to not have him as…

But even then, there's the kid's pro career at stake. The Dodgers and Indians knew that, in comparison, while they'd suffer some backlash for integrating, Jackie Robinson and Larry Doby were phenomenal players who could contribute to their club. Any pro team drafting a prospect is taking a leap of faith; you're going…

Exactly. Fair or not, being openly gay would limit that player's opportunities - certain colleges and teams would not want to touch him, either out of bigotry or because they don't want to deal with the cultural clash. That's more than enough to keep a kid closeted.

I'm not so sure. Any kid with big-time prospects will probably be advised to keep in under their hat lest they jeopardize their career. (A parallel to this can be seen in Hollywood, where actors hide their sexuality once they start making it big because they didn't want to get blacklisted. For as self-professedly…

Meanwhile, Chicagoans have been trying for years to get rid of their Hawk that scares away otherwise benign visitors.

Thus marking the first time a story about blue blood and Colorado beer didn't involve the Coors family.

Awesome.

When POC universities try to add a few more whites to their enrollment, POC parents will protest and have it thrown out it court.

They will be written, produced, and directed by POC. Plus, they won't actually be filmed in the Heg, but POC won't notice because they've never been there and the movies simply justify every stereotype they have about it.

Oh, of course. Then have the POC-dominated state government come in and take it over, further robbing it of autonomy while condescendingly implying they're incapable of running it themselves.

Of course. You make sure there's a gun shop, a payday lender, and a liquor store on every corner.

"Do you not know that Lederhosen was a clothing style that started IN PRISON?! Is that where you want to end up?!"

he went so far as to pretend to be Santana Moss in his quest

We'll combat it by slapping big scary labels on their music indicating that it is not suitable for society at large, and enforcing school uniforms that ban lederhosen and golf shirts to "maintain order."

Winning gold at the Olympics, however, only comes second to his lifelong goal of finally killing James Bond.