I don't even wanna know what would come out of a "what do you think [x Deadspin commenter] looks like" conversation.

Seriously, has that feature gotten any better? It's been going on forever and the stories were fucking terrible the last time I read them. The site gets rid of Salley's Shit Corner, that lameass Heat Strokes feature (though I love me some Bethlehem Shoals), Cohen's Duke stories, FAILgate, and a bunch of other…

I'm the same way. I just sent in a check for an apartment which should be mine come next week after they look at my credit. I know I should be fine but because the place fits my needs so well I'm convinced something wrong will happen.

Is it bad that anytime I see something related to DHF my eyes roll back and I only hear white noise?

Glad to see that after spending so many years as an overshadowed minority, Christian football players will finally have a platform to present their views.

Zach and Jimmy Make An Imbroglio

As did his wife, Ophelia.

These two lantern guys who wrote this

Heh.

He was initially pulled over for committing the serious offense of driving a Pontiac Montana.

All this talk of breaking their debt ceiling sure has MLB feeling Moody these days.

Heat Hate DUAN,

Nope, it makes you a good hockey fan.

"+1"

and 3/4 of Jezebel readers can't correctly name.

Man, those United Colors of Bennetton ads keep getting worse.

The fuck is a Jean Dick?

It was not, however, a good idea to plan on using one of Cindy Crawford's moles as a game ball.

Right now he is more concerned with the new Cars

I actually wish Emrick wouldn't let his analysts talk. The only thing Pierre McGuire should be analyzing is whether you want fries with your order.