Although, he would have only successfully hit her 1 out of the 5 times he swung.

He actually got away the first time because the officer was mesmerized after seeing Dukes' license defying gravity like that.

After the throw, the refs charged the chair with a technical.

Exactly. As fucked as my favorite team's stadium situation may be (which is not too dissimilar to trying to patch a punctured inflatable mattress because you have no real bed), the Twin Cities are a better long-term option for the league than northern Florida. Ditto for San Diego. Yet seemingly every NFL beat writer…

No offense to Jags fans, but if the Chargers and Vikings leave their long-time fanbases and larger media markets solely on the basis of Jacksonville having a newer stadium than them, then the NFL has truly lost its marbles and whatever so-called business acumen that Forbes loves to proclaim.

Just remember that this CBA was canceled prematurely by the owners. They could have let this thing ride out, but instead shitcanned it with 2 years left on the deal to strike a new one because they thought they could roll over new NFLPA leadership in a tough economy.

Nope. After their ~3 years in the league is up, they'll likely be in a lower tax bracket than us.

Mobile DUAN,

I know it's been a long day AJ, but you really shouldn't be stealing Larry Kramer's old essay titles verbatim.

I thought getting bowl coin was finding some extra shake weed at the bottom of the baggie.

This is terrifying, for it shows that fans of Jim Rome are now capable of utilizing basic technology.

Nice to see that Ron Franklin is spending his newfound free time by writing on multiple Twitter accounts.

Whiskey is always a good drink for the unemployed. Sorry about the news man, hope you land on your feet sooner rather than later.

Seriously, your office only allows you to use Explorer and not Firefox or Chrome? You've got much worse problems than not being able to read Deadspin if that's the case. That's just cruel.

Unbeknownst to doctors, the Colombian owl felt no pain because the condom it swallowed had broken.

Tech? DUAN,

Bill Bennett's head just exploded upon learning that white people also smoke crack.

The Mets can't wait until there's a rain delay. They want everyone to see that they have the best TARP in the league.

"Can't it be both?"

If that older couple were instead the Kings of Leon in the middle of playing King of the Rodeo, the bull would have been given a medal.