I actually find the idea of a herd of bunnies shitting all over a bunch of rich people in custom outfits kind of delightful.

I think I would have been a little miffed to be stuffed into a "personalized costume" in order to fulfill someone else's personal fantasy.

Nothing quite says "appropriate wedding theme" like a story where a seemingly innocuous ring is to actually to blame for all of the evil and cruelty in the world.

She is saying that I was a wife beater. That is wrong. It happened because I couldn't get her to quiet down.

Okay. Yup. Sure. Bye bye now. Have fun. Bye bye! Keep believing that—it will make prison all the more torturous for you.

do you think they need puppies? because i will find them the fluffiest, happiest puppies on god's green earth if it will make them smile.

i'm always that bleeding heart hippy who plays devil's advocate in cases like this. i talk about how pedophiles are almost always molested as children or how even the most hard hearted people should be met with compassion and opportunities for redemption. i go on long rants about how destigmatizing mental illness and…

Michelle Knight is such an incredibly badass woman. I wish her nothing but the best going forward.

He is LITERALLY leaving.

Good lawrd. Is the arrow necessary? Are your readers really that fucking dumb?

What about my personal favorite, I Heart Huckabees?

It's a baby.

Oh.

What is this thing?

You know, I do at least appreciate that Jennifer Aniston owns up to the fact that she has to have a strict diet and work out regimen to look the way she does. I fucking hate it when celebrities are all "oh, no, it's fine, I ate 4 cheeseburgers yesterday, I guess I'm just lucky." That may be true for a very small…

"And Royal Gynecologist Marcus Setchell actually gave up drinking at least a month before the baby came"

Wait, do celebrities now have separate buses just for weed? So they don't personally get busted or arrested? That's fucking brilliant. And ridiculous. Somewhere on the border of brilliant and ridiculous.

Border patrol became even more suspicious when they saw the driver of Bieber's bus:

Who knew so many cops were a part of...

Since I was basically accused of misogyny yesterday for smack talking Rachel Bilson's (hopefully fake) neck tats, I would like to go on the record as saying that I am an equal opportunity hideousness-by-choice-hater: Bieber's tattoos are among the most wretched ink I have ever seen on a celebrity, if not the worst.