Fame gremlin! Awesome term.

we hate that shit. how dare they besmirch our national holiday.

Hi Beyonce, how are you? I just want to know is there any reason or dissatisfaction of Kanye and I's birth that both you and Jay-Z gave 3800$ each? In terms of the amount we got from you both was very unexpected as a result we were very much short on paying off the OBGYN because just for the delivery + hospital stay…

The Resting Bitch Face shouldn't be confused with the Bitchin' Rest Face.

I almost cried when I saw this. I'm a 30 year old woman, and this doll has my exact body type. It was such a relief to see.

My philosophy is "if you're going to drink soda, you might as well go all the way." Diet soda has so many different chemicals and artificial sweeteners that it isn't surprising that it makes you feel weird. Equal and NutraSweet, for example, contain phenylalanine, an amino acid that is harmless in most people but can…

Yes, but, McDonald's has salads. She was in no way forced to eat a Big Mac just because she was at McDonald's. There is no one at the counter screaming that you must purchase and consume meat if you dare enter the building.

When did you stop thinking you were beautiful?

I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING SHUT UP.

I agree. I think its childish to expect that a villain of Hitler's caliber must necessarily be thoroughly awful at everything, and to expect that everyone must buy into this. He was incredibly charismatic, and his highly emotional speeches did much to secure his seat of power. Simply acknowledging this does not mean…

Nobody murder me for saying this, but Hitler was an excellent public speaker. Also, the experiments performed on Jewish people, and the scientists who performed them, yielded much information that was utilized by both the US and the Soviet Union. None of these excuses Hitler, these scientists, or Nazi Germany as a…

No, Jeremy, THIS is a meat wallet:

For potato crime, there is only Potato Judge, and his verdict is GEEEEEELLLLLTTYY!!!

Whenever someone tells me they don't own a TV, I respond "What is a...TV...?" just to one-up them.

You could start dropping spoilers, too. After all, they probably secretly watch all these shows online and just don't want to admit it.

Re: Ed Hardy: I dunno, they still seem pretty popular with those Jersey Shore kids. Also, if you kind of hate all the people your brand is attracting, I feel like you need to re-think your brand?

And here I thought Gosselin was good for nothing.

My reaction was similar to this:

It's not really surprising, is it?

I mean, if Kanye and Kim are about anything, it's the "I." All about the "I."

I've been waiting all week to use this gif in the best possible context.