If only there was some way to block for Rivers, dam.

Dude’s 39 years old now, so I don’t know how much zip anyone can realistically expect,

“Neither can I.”

It was hard for me for about two years, because one doctor told me I could wake up any morning and it might come back. So you wake up every day thinking, Today’s the day! Then it’s not.

Ugh, thank you for replying. This is the clearest example of “Nothing he could do...” I’ve seen in awhile. The guy I initially replied to said something along the lines of “The first video I came to had Maddux stabbing at a line drive right where the Yankees’ pitcher’s head was.” I actually couldn’t believe it b/c, I…

Can a brother get out of the greys in this piece, please?

At first he felt singled out, but Bryan thought to himself for the thousandth time - “Y not I?”

One that was made up or adapted from this story you heard from a guy about this other guy about his brother.

Congratulations on the date and the sex.

If it makes you feel better you've never been able to make a joke

Even more lucky, your dad doesn’t have to teach Rubio how to shoot.

I dreamed a dream in overtime

“Gold Leader, we’re outnumbered!”

“Stay in attack formation!”
*does a backward flip*

Agreed. :/

Holy crap this is sad.

I live in St. Louis City. I won’t get to vote on a stadium, but tomorrow, I’m voting on whether or not the city can be issued $180 million in bonds to upgrade equipment for police and fire departments, as well as improving streets, bridges, sidewalks, etc.

Rev Jesse Jackson thinks you missed one of the best:

good thing her face broke her fall...