Usually, the only time you see the Millionaires and the Senators get together is at Republican Congressional Committee fundraisers.

Readers deserve an explanation. This is the cereal discussion we had before Marchman went rogue.

Non-existent webpage for non-existent cereal.

I've never heard of "Honey Smackers" but I'm pretty sure the Jezebel crowd is going to lose its shit.

No Quaker Oatmeal Squares; list invalid.

Cereals, Ranked APPROPRIATELY

Here is a list of breakfast cereals in no particular order, starting with something that cannot be confirmed as existing.

TIM MARCHMAN DOES NOT SPEAK FOR THE REST OF THE DEADSPIN STAFF.

The worst.

And Oatmeal Squares continues its long run as most underrated cereal.

WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU

Game 5 of the 1956 World Series.

"I don't know, man. I don't know. Probably just..."
[Exhales slowly]
"Probably just drink. A lot."
[Smiles wryly, and a little sadly]

-Kane, when asked about his postgame plans, 2001-2014

It'll be a long cab ride home

Montero has requested that Mariners pitching staff deliver their sliders with extra mustard.

Teammate: Hey Jesus, what's gonna be your walk-up music this year?

"Awww, OMG, look at that little guy! He's so darn cute! Is he flying with you?"

"...she had one of the best seasons for a female racer in series history"

The last retirement that freed up cap space was Barry Bonds'.

I make 36k a year and my neck hurts and i hate my family