TheJerkStore
TheJerkStore
TheJerkStore

“Censorship” is when the government tells you what you can and can’t say. That’s bad. “Business” is when your employer orders you to stop embarrassing them by making misogynistic comments that drive away listeners and advertisers. That’s good. Fact is, if you’re a host of a radio show and you are continuously and

Based on how he’s run the athletic program, I just assumed “lightheaded” was his normal state...

I will not stand for Burt Ward slander in these parts. You take that back immediately sir.

Guys, it’s American. We can try to be all Donald Trump about this and blame foreigners for this abomination, but if we are honest, the swill that is Budweiser is an all-American concoction that would not be deemed potable in any other nation on earth. It is brewed for the mac-and-cheese and chicken-nugget raised

I can’t believe how soft the NFL has become. Back in the leather helmet days that wasn’t even a foul. Now it’s a big controversy...

He spent the entirety of the last offseason in rehab and therapy. He laughed at it and didn’t give a fuck. He needs to learn the world doesn’t coddle Johnny Fucking Football anymore. A few points on his Graybar Hotel loyalty card will teach him that there are indeed consequences to his constant douchebaggery.

I hope he gets the help he needs - a judge that puts his ass in jail.

Mine took a shit all over the field

In celebration, the robot went to Perkins and fucked the cash register.

If it was the Vikings against the Bills it would be Super Bowl L, as both teams would find a way to lose somehow.

There, fixed the typo in your headline guys.

Ironically, that’s the exact plot of the Lemon Party.

Looks like we found Vodka Samm... and she’s off the wagon

This is what you get from a half Gronk, half Aaron Hernandez type of player

And like any human capable of solving a cube in under a minute, it is incapable of attracting a mate.

Hung banners are an integral part of my life. Well, not “banners” as much as “bounced checks” and “do not serve this man” posters. Make a few mistakes in the 90s with some cheap booze, coke, and a hooker named Flo, and you’re a pariah eternally.

2. Rolling Rock.

That’s a really shitty saying. Nobody is ever going to say that. Nobody wants that on a t shirt. It’s forced, has no flow, and it’s stupid. Also, it’s narcissistic as hell. “Screw friends, all they do is hang out occasionally. I want eternal glory at all costs....”

Tomsula will make $3.5M per year for the next three years if all he does is play tiddly winks with his turds.