Smart move. If you're going to keep giving it to Alabama, you're going to have to make an Alabama-proof trophy

credit: @cuppycup

That kid gives me the creeps. Seriously, he murders the whole family after the cut, right?

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Apparently appointing Johnny Manziel as his roommate wasn't the best idea the Browns' brass has ever had...

Give Gordon time to be Titus Young. The weekened is still young.

The question must be asked: just how depraved does the debauchery have to be in order for FIFA to take a moral high ground above it?

That would have been a good addition to my dream, and would have indeed made more sense than the original ejaculation from Thomas. Instead, however, after the execution there was a Lollapalooza-like music festival, and I walked through an act featuring glow-in-the-dark hula hoops trying to find my family. The people…

True story: I had a dream last night that Larry Bird was about to be executed in the State of Texas for failure to pay federal taxes. There was a major spectacle around his execution with people everywhere and protests about the government overstepping its bounds. Anyway, I managed to find Rick Perry, who somehow knew…

Technically to do it properly it has to be conversational. So like next time you're in a performance review with your boss, mention that you did all your TPS reports on time and then drop a "fuck her right in the pussy". That promotion will be yours.

Papastathopoulos sounds like the sound a studdering Italian with a lisp would make to order a jar of marinara sauce.

This seems like a terrible idea. I don't think this will be all that...

In similar news, it was recently discovered Rick Reilly had a point 20 years ago as well, one that has long since vanished.

That's Anthony Davis in disguise

This wasn't as much a logo attempt as a marketing pitch to convince Greg Oden to come to Philly.

Pig kets killed by hot dog cannon, gets turned into hot dogs, which will then be used to murder other pigs. Circle of life.

I was under the impression that in order to trademark something it had to be in commercial use for a period of time. Since there is no Washington Warriors football club, how can he be afforded legal trademark protection? The policy is strictly to prevent squatting, like in this situation.

oh yeah, absolutely. Red Man is essentially a dessert. Molasses soaked tobacco leaves. Snuff is location specific and highly concentrates nicotene in that one spot, thus the typical cancer patterns. Chew has a much more diluted presence in your whole mouth, albeit it a considerably larger volume, which delivers a…

The one time I tried chewing tobacco, it felt like there were tiny shards of fiberglass cutting the inside of my lip, allowing nicotine and all of the other toxins to enter my body more quickly.