Local fire ordinances prohibit Perkins and Noah for being together in a room that small. All that ugly could cause a riot. Perkins was merely upholding the law.

Bostonians routinely commit what can best be described as genocide on the English language with that horrific ignorant accent of theirs. This isn't even a crime compared to the usual.

That is the governor of Alabama calling in ala Rob Ford. The tell is how well-spoken, articulate, rational, thoughtful, and intelligent the caller was*.

Ironically, the same engineering firm designed the stands for the Miami Heat, but to date they haven't been tested with a load of over 100 people.

Super Nintendo Chalmers, pfft, more like Super No Friendo Chalmers, amirite?

My methodology says only Richie Sexson and Todd Jones make it in.

I'm moving to Toronto just to re-elect Rob Ford. He is a magnificent beast and deserves to continue to soak up the limelight.

What if all 1,800 jobs created were at the Mons Venus? Could happen, in which case all of this is deliciously true.

I think the league has learned the incontrovertible and indisputable fact that Matt Flynn is terrible in 31/32 uniforms, and incredible only in Packers green and gold. He's like the Green Lantern or something.

Cottonelle Fresh Care Flushable Wipes & Cleansing Cloths beg to differ with you

Go to 2:22

Dude, how much Goldschlager do you drink that you can see the gold in your turds? You may want to talk to someone about that...

Do turds have bright spots?

That seems like a good idea

I still haven't got a straight answer to whether RGIII is a brother or a cornball brother yet. Until that is cleared up, he can rot on the bench of hell as far as I'm concerned.

The full interview is here

It actually looks like Animal from the Muppet Show

Aaron Hernandez is doodling lady butts, and the other inmates are doodling his butt. Because he's in prison and that's how it works.

Looks like he's ready

I think the Kracken has been kracked a few too many times in the kranium and is now krazy...