Let me put it like this. Instead of 3 to 4 wipes (depending on the messiness of your “visit” to the toilet) to reach a point where you feel comfortable enough pulling your underwear up, you have one security wipe just to verify for yourself that you are actually spotless.

I am so sorry.

The nozzles extend out from the back part of the bidet and spray forward at an angle. They aren’t directly under your butthole. When they aren’t actively in use, they are retracted.

That is a question for my wife. As I understand it, at the very least, it cuts down considerably on the amount of toilet paper you use.

I cringed so hard I hurt my face muscles. That’s rough, but luckly that’s the kind of lesson one only needs to learn once.

I hate to do this to you, but when a man gives a woman something to make sure her butthole is extra clean, there might be a special reason for that.

Took me longer than I would like to admit, but once I got it going, I didn’t have any problems with it. It came with a link to a video doing a step by step guide to setting it up.

The desire to have the cleanest butt possible is perhaps the most pure Christmas gift one could ask for in my opinon.

Yeah, there’s a splitter, and you’d want to have a plug in near the toilet. There’s a video link provide with instructions about setting it up.

They provided a link to a video regarding how to install ours. I had to constantly pause each step and double check what I was doing. The part we had that affixes it to the actually toilet looked different from the one in the video and I spent an hour trying to figure it out in my head. Got it on there though.

I’ve had more than one occasion where someone asked to use our bathroom, walk in, immediately walk out and asked what the hell was going on with our toilet seat.

Here is the model she has. I don’t use it, but at a glance, there does appear to be a warm air button.

This is the one my wife has. She’s pretty happy with it.

I can handle sinus headaches since sudafed isn’t really a painkiller and its really just a matter of getting the swelling down. Ultimately it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t turn into such a raging asshole when anyone makes even the slightest high pitched noise.

My wife got one when we moved a few months ago. Sort of a splurge on herself for her new job. I typically use the other bathroom along with my two boys. A few days after she got it, I was the only one home, so I went ahead and used her bathroom and was not prepared to feel the heat on my ass. Reminded me of when…

I came to the conclusion long ago that I will never understand the perspective of the celebrity lifestyle. I’ll never have all the information available to properly judge the choices they make, so I just try to take what positive I can from the entertainers I happen upon. She might be an ugly person inside, and if so…

What every fancy bitch needs? A bidet. But it’s not always easy to just plow some room in your bathroom to put one next to your toilet. So next best thing is this bidet seat that replaces your toilet seat. You can set it to heat so in those cold winter nights when you need a midnight tinkle, you can enjoy the warmth…

She’s polarizing. I will give you that.

I just found it rather telling of myself that when you said, “You used to have to bleed for half an hour.” I thought of my headaches and thought, “That might be a viable option.”

35. Coincidentally going to a new psychiatrist for the first time this evening. Also, see reply to Molly-fied.