People can say whatever they want about her. Her smile always makes me smile.

I kind of want to have Spotify’s baby now.

Actually 6’2, but I’m what I refer to as “torso tall”.

Edited to avoid an arguement I decided I didn’t want to be in. My apologies.

I’m pretty sure that unless you’re drunk at the time or it results in serious injury, tripping in your wedding dress is considered adorable.

Half sincere, half joke. The people who actually know me appreciate my kindness. The people who are in my life, but outside my social circle, either think I’m being a suck-up, insincere, or up to something sinister. It’s likely because of how I look. I’m not a happy person. I like doing nice things for people, but…

I am male, but will take gratitude regardless.

Well first of all, she’s taking those steps at an angle. Something I simply cannot do. Spiral staircases completely mess me up. Secondly, the way that dress poofs out, I doubt she could even see the two steps closest to her, and without being able to see your feet, placing them solidly, in heels, would be an…

I’d been planning on picking up that Playstation TV eventually since it had dropped to $40, but ten bucks more for the memory card and an extra contoller means I’ll have to step up on that.

I’d been planning on picking up that Playstation TV eventually since it had dropped to $40, but ten bucks more for…

Are we talking crayons, markers, fingerpaints? I’d like to think it doesn’t make a difference, but it totally does.

Oh, so you mean like the worst kind of massage? I kid. That is a far more likely explanation for lacking the coordination to get off a table. Adding injury to injury. Oye.

In my mind, I am equating your accident to having recieved an awesome massage.

Mine in particular is reaching for the door handle, missing it, then walking into the door.

The flag of our people. We’d raise it high, but we can’t figure out how that flagpole rope thingy works exactly.

Some people are just naturally clumsy. Now take that, put it in heels and a tight fitting dress and watch what happens.

That’s odd. I’m obsessively nice and all it gains me is the contempt of my peers.

Because its fucking hilarious. I laughed typing it out.

Thank God! I totally needed a men’s day. Gonna get the bro’s together and do some guy stuff. Start of the day pursuing Jezebel, like always. Nothing changes that. Spend some time with my dog. Eat some pizza and watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. that I DVR’d the other day. Go work out. Can’t skip leg day. Pick up my sons…

Not even Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Phooey could’ve solved this mystery!

I'm off to google translate to hear how to pronounce that!