My parrot started imitating her moaning as she was going down on me. She starts laughing uncontrollably and I never got to finish. 

Honestly this is SO ROMANTIC! Like, if I ever got to go on a date with BD Wong this is how I would want it to go.

It amuses me that he asks for things not too expensive and the suggestions lead with $1500+ couches. Dude, you don’t need to spend that much. I have a couch very similar to the second one featured at a thrift store for $35. It is super comfortable. Sure it looks a little more beat up but a nice blanket tossed over the…

It amuses me that he asks for things not too expensive and the suggestions lead with $1500+ couches. Dude, you don’t…

He obviously knew this shit was going to pour out because they were prepared for some of it. He could have gotten out in front of, it or at least diminished the blow but just owning up to being a drunken frat boy. He could have gently denied the assault accusation by saying he doesn’t remember anything like that,…

I believe her.

Morally conflicted.

Manipulating others through cherished misery is a shitty thing to do. Empathy goes both ways. It’s time to apply it to yourself and remove yourself from this guy’s toxicity. He is bad for your well-being, he’s a drain, he makes sure to keep himself in your thoughts. Write to him that you have shit of your own to work…

I’m not a very nice person, I guess, ‘cuz I have zero time for that sort of emotional blackmail. Dude’s toxic and not your responsibility. Send him the link to the national suicide hotline and move on.

Good evening everyone! Fun in the craft aisle tonight.

I used to order from this one when it was called Columbia House. Back then you got your first dozen for a penny.

I used to order from this one when it was called Columbia House. Back then you got your first dozen for a penny.

Nearly all subscription “boxes” are bad and dumb and a Not Good Use of Your Money, and so I vote “None.” Part of the conceit of many of them is that you’ll be too lazy to send back the items you don’t want/need (I’m thinking the clothing subscription boxes). Subscription boxes bring the shopping mall to you, and…

Nearly all subscription “boxes” are bad and dumb and a Not Good Use of Your Money, and so I vote “None.” Part of the…

Will be interesting to see if any subscription boxes are worth staying signed up for. My conclusion has been that none are, regardless of what it is. I already have too much “stuff.” I do not need help acquiring more “stuff.” The concept of “you can have all kinds of stuff cheaply, as long as you agree to a constant…

Will be interesting to see if any subscription boxes are worth staying signed up for. My conclusion has been that…

If anyone says Steve Buscemi, they are DEAD TO ME. He’s a mensch and a goddamn national treasure.

This might make me very unpopular, but Kristin Wiig. I feel like she’d be a very sly mean girl in person (the “It’s so cool that you don’t care whether boys think you’re hot” type), and I don’t fully understand the appeal of her comedy. I also wanted to slap her character a lot in Bridesmaids.

#TeamHateJulia

None of my hatreds are irrational. THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DID!

Touched By An Angel always made me want to ask “Where did the angel touch you?

First decide what you’d want to put your cat through. Be careful about projecting human values on your pet. Animals don’t understand why they are being “tortured” with medical intervention. A short life where they are not cut open and where their food is not tasting of medicine may be sweeter than a longer life as…

Eh, let the men have their little narcissistic custom.  Never understood how someone could look at a brand new little individual and think, “I’ll name him after me.”

Where did “Pumpkinspice” fall on the list?