I’m giving this one a lot of side-eye. I’m guessing he wasn’t great and they were both alcoholics, which is usually pretty explosive, and yet why is this coming out now?

Try to poison me will you?

I wouldn’t have much patience for someone who is really really into mostly one-sided conversations. Men who like to hear themselves talk get boring very quickly.

Personally, I subscribe to the abstinence only school of sun protection.

I say it easily. I rejoice in the death of any domestic abuser.

What’s a “full on abstinence agenda”? Who would benefit from it?

Land o Lakes recently redesigned their butter box. So 16-year-old Friday-night stock boys at the Winn Dixie will never again be able to leave this in the dairy case for the unwary Saturday morning shopper. It’s probably sexist. I should probably be ashamed.

Ironing while naked, and the ironing board was a little low because my wife is a full foot shorter than me. I didn’t, you know, actually iron the thing, but I did flop over onto the board and brush up against the tip of my dick with the very hot iron. Not pleasant.

They have close friends?!?

I hurt my shoulder while sleeping.  I don’t have any other details because I was asleep when it happened.

Eat it standing in front of the open fridge door.

I make sure to give that building the middle finger and a good loud Bronx cheer every time I see it.

Domestic violence is wrong no matter who commits it. 

No. Just no. Mayonnaise is awful in every situation.

No. The only thing that mayo should be put in is the trash.

Muriel’s Wedding!

“Muriel’s Wedding”?

Hi all, how have you been? :)

So hold up? A private citizen, who happens to be rich, used his money, that he earned, to donate to a policial party, that he believes will make him richer? My God! Are we sure he didn’t rape and murder people, too? How about it’s nobody’s fucking business what Musk does with his money? Had he donated to a PAC that…

Or maybe pregnant and nursing addicts will just use formula instead of breast feeding?