You have to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. In other words, the first person you have to love is yourself. After ten years, you are way overdue for selfcare. And your significant other is in a horrible rut, and also needs a big change. There is a reason why addiction programs don’t allow dating…

Thanks for sharing these signs. It’s fun to learn new ways to insult Dump.  HIs mother was from Scotland. I wish someone had a sign with her picture saying that she would be ashamed. I think it would bother him to bring his mother into the discussion, and remind him that she found him to be embarrassing.  https://ww…

And golf! What’s with giving women those choice weekday morning tee times while men are stuck hitting their little white balls on late afternoons and weekends?

I have always had a strong preference for men my own height (5'5") and have rarely been attracted to anyone tall. The same way some women dismiss short guys, I never noticed tall ones. When I met my now husband, I was thrilled that he wasn’t turned off by my hairier-than-his Caucasian skin. Short Asian guys FTW!

Add to this, someone who asks you out on a date, and then says, “What do you want to do?”  If you ask someone out, plan something.  

That Daily News story had all the elements — pregnant girlfriend at his side, mother defending her son, and the perp wearing an extreme crime-against-taste shirt.

Eh, by now he’s bald and happy to have people see what he looked like with hair.

There’s someone with my somewhat uncommon name who is a real churchy type. (I know from googling her.) I’ve had some pretty racy things published under my name, and I wonder what she thinks. There’s also a meth head in Tennessee with my name and she keeps getting busted. Her mugshots are pretty sad.

My friends left, too. Acquaintances, mostly the popular kids who peaked in their high school years, are still there. While my parents were still living there, I would visit occasionally, wearing clothes that you couldn’t get at the mall. People were still hanging out at the same bar, in the same seat, and would…

Same here. Throughout the election, I kept saying that even people who hadn’t known about Dump for years, had at some point in their lives come across a total blowhard and would be able to recognize him for what he is.

I thought the whole purpose of skirts was so you don’t have to wear underwear. It’s nice and cool and feels sexy. If there’s a bit of moisture, so what? Better to have it air dry than have sopping fabric down there.

Most fireworks are manufactured in China.  So, with Dump’s trade war, you may not have to worry about any more fireworks.

When I was a kid we had sparklers, and also things that looked like incense sticks, called “punks.” I think they were supposed to be for lighting other fireworks.  All I know is that they smelled kind of like pot, and it set the tone for me really liking that odor.

She may have enjoyed her 15 minutes, but I felt good watching it.  So, win/win.

Appropriate for a man who mistakes his flatulence for eloquence.

I agree with the goal setting technique. Many years ago I decided that I wanted to go live in Guatemala for a few months. (Sadly, I got busy and never made the trip.) Every time I was tempted to buy anything, I would stop and think about how much further that money was going to go in Guatemala. Like, do I really…

But borscht is delicious. Anything with sour cream is delicious.

OK, I’m old and maybe things have changed, but what the hell is a 4.5 grade point average? Back when I was a straight A student, it was called “having a 4.0.” Is there a new scale that functions like a Yelp review, where even a total failure gets one star?

A friend from Atlanta visited me in New York. After getting a bagel at H&H, she said it wasn’t very good; that the bagels she got in Atlanta were a lot better.  What kind?  Frozen Lenders bagels from the supermarket.  

Don’t forget the sunscreen if you’re wearing shorts. A dermatologist told me that one of the most common places they find melanoma is on the back of the legs.