There was a columnist like that — Dear Dotti in the now defunct Weekly World News. She was the best!

I went to see Baby Driver and LOVED it! Even if you don’t go see the movie, check out this opening clip

The guy had a beautiful, accomplished wife and then chose to sext fat, ugly, unintelligent girls (see also Sydney Leathers). I think this is proof that Anthony Wiener was not in his right mind.

Well, there’s an old astrological saying, “We can’t all be born in Aries.”

I hope Mike Diva and Justin Woolverton both have to watch their loved ones suffer through Alzheimer’s. May they have to spend 1000 times the cost of this commercial on nursing homes for said loved ones, leaving them deeply in debt. And then may they spend the rest of their days constantly worrying that they, too,…

It’s a short sale. Somebody bit off more than they could chew — which explains the bilious decor.

The husband in letter one should dump that controlling bitch. He’s not allowed to talk to a friend as soon as he’s in a committed relationship? Emails and flirting is “an affair?” People have a past. People flirt. So what if he emails an old girlfriend who is out of state? As the old saying goes, “It doesn’t…

U-G-L-Y. She ain’t got no alibi.

Most important: Tell her how perfect and beautiful her breasts are, whatever they look like. Many women fear that they are too small, too saggy, too lopsided, whatever. A lot of guys are shocked to find out that large breasts, if natural, sag in a way that they haven’t seen in pictures. But the breasts that are…

Well there’s My New Order, the collection of Hitler’s speeches that he likes to keep next to his bed. http://www.businessinsider.com/donald-trumps-ex-wife-once-said-he-kept-a-book-of-hitlers-speeches-by-his-bed-2015-8

He’ll just say, “Send me the bill.” and then not pay it.

Cheap white vinegar mixed 50/50 with water in spray bottle is how I clean my kitchen counters and cutting boards.

Eh, he was just trying to get that baby to STFU. That said, I had a few classes in college with a guy who had arms like that. He was really good looking, and I spent a fair amount of class time daydreaming about what he could do with those arms.

A friend of mine recently got into Arbonne. She invited me to her virtual “launch” where a bunch of idiot wanna-be actor/mother types talked about “business.” First of all, you need to humiliate people in person to force them to buy that overpriced stuff ($18 for a tube of toothpaste!) because no one is going to…

He forgot to tell him where to find the light switches.

I had the same thing with not being able to get an IUD. I’m old and now post menopausal, so take this for what it’s worth. But way back in the dark ages when the only hormonal birth control was The Pill, which they advised everyone to only use for a maximum of five years, I found someone to fit me with a cervical…

I hope they’re uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable.

He needs a matching one that says FLATUS.

Back in 2000, When Creflo Dollar was preaching at Madison Square Garden, a chunk of a building across the street fell 14 stories and beaned one of his devoted followers, fracturing his skull. (The guy taught “Christian Prosperity” in his church.) He lived, so naturally everyone said it was a gift from god.

I’m pretty sure at least two of my Girl Scout camp counselors were gay. (Another one of them also turned out to be my sixth grade teacher, which was way weirder.) But looking back on the badges I earned, I wonder if they are still awarding a badge for Housekeeping. And if so, I wish the Boy Scouts would adopt that…