It's like an entire state snuck across the Mason-Dixon Line and nobody noticed.

The new host of Jeopardy should be Perd Hapley, in fact just rename it JePerdy, and I’d watch every episode.

“Heck! Dang peanuts made me thirsty again. Better find that feller with the milk!”

That's a guy who will pull over for a hand painted sign advertising boiled peanuts. Every damn time.

“Yankees are a bunch of douchebags” - sing it to the tune of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song..it’s fun!

These things are everywhere you look. Everywhere.

Him: “Picaboooooo!”

Goddammit, that’s not what “nonplussed” means.

Dinklage is an amazing actor, but he could never pull of being as painfully uncool as Billy Mitchell.

Your coach: Gus Bradley. As I’ve said before, you’re not getting anywhere with a dude named Gus.

May I be pedantic? Pregnancy actually IS nine months. 40 weeks = 280 days. 280/30.4 (average length of months) = 9.2. Now, that extra .2 doesn't even really count, because that 40 weeks is calculated from the first day of your period. The moment you conceive you are actually already considered 2 weeks pregnant.

Women declaring that pregnancy last ten months may be my biggest (pregnancy-related) pet peeve. I know the doctors tell you that pregnancy is 40 weeks, I know how tempting it is to divide that by 4 (all months have 4 weeks, right?), and I definitely know how unending pregnancy can feel towards the end, but that's…

It's the remix to Completion/

They first met in Columbia, Del., after Shattuck picked the boy up and drove to a middle school parking lot.

1. If jet fuel doesn't burn hot enough to melt steel, then how di-

Here is that poorly spelled blog:

Kelly: BELLY-FLOP CONTEST!! LET ME SEE YOUR BEST OFFENSIVE LINE!

iii. Great leaders like Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, Jim Harbaugh, and Roger Goodell don't simply wait for situations where they have a natural connection to step up and take control. They LEAD. Which Cam Newton, and Colin Kaepernick for that matter, have not done in Ferguson. If I were a GM, I'd think twice about…

Non-football related thoughts:

1. Raise your coffee standards, Ferguson Jailhouse. Weak, bitter, and no finish whatsoever.

Spelling Bee Judge: Your word is "circumlocution."