I think he is literally going to make the exact same argument he did on the show and not even realize it.

Bird: Don't get too close guys. I heard you can die from contact.

Parents Night is dreadful. Last year I was singled out by a teacher in a room full of judgmental parents because my 3rd grader, for the "art show", drew a picture of a chicken giving a horse a hand-job. Seriously. I have the photo prove it if you provide me with an e-mail to send it. When I got home, I feared…

And that's the bottom line because Stone Cold is a level-headed person who thinks in logical terms.

Jim Kelly's cancer is REALLY aggressive.

[dying]

What do you mean "will there ever be"? John Daly both plays golf and wrestles with addiction.

I actually thought of Simmonds when I first read this. The weird thing with him and his scoring prowess is that while putting up points, he still plays like a checking line type player. Meaning that he is a high energy, hard-hitting player who will muck it up along the boards and who also happens to possess great…

Compare Boston's hate hard-on for PK Subban.

And then again, who are always considered the "toughest" basketball players? Not Dewayne Wade, who's been playing with half a body for a few years. Not Kobe, who, despite falling apart physically for the better part of a decade now still manages to carry his team on his back. Nope. Big, white guys, and almost…

The protesters are all wearing leggings as pants. Are we sure these aren't the Fashion Cossacks?

Two of my really good friends on the team, Sean Hill and Corey McKeon, asked me at lunch one day, "We were just wondering if you were gay." I very honestly said, "No, I just really like the taste of Coke Zero."

I was at the Tournament Player's Championship in 2003, I think it was. I had been over served and was sitting drunkenly on the grass hill overlooking the island green on #17. Tom Lehman's group came to the tee. I had alway had a strong anti-Lehman bias because of he was one of the pioneers of the PGA "God Squad." …

Wake up Maggie, I think I got something to say to you

Jared Lorenzen reminds one of so many legendary QB's - Jim Evereat. Y.A. Skittles. Matt Mooreplease. Broadweigh Joe. Milt Plumsauce. Filled Simms. Terry Breadshow. Bread Carve. Ben Ruthlessonburgers. Twoton Manning. Tonny Romo, Ryan Tonhill and Tonny Jurgensen. Doug Foodie. Joe Slow Montanabolism. Boomer Eatsaton.…

Travelling or not, she still drives a hell of a lot better than Laura Bush.

Mike Harrington called him a "Tard," but then said he'd never heard of calling anyone a "Tard" before. What a fag.

The Sines have been there since the beginning.

Whoosh, my man. Whoosh.

WEEEELLLLL, my name's Joe Maddon and I'm here to say