It’s like “Ozymandias” but if you came across an abandoned Shake Shack.

“You can try movin on all you want. He’s gonna find yah. Back in 83', Olivia and I packed up Peyton and Coop, in the middle of the night, and hightailed it up to Minneapolis. 9 days later, we are awoken by a horrible shriek downstairs. I kid you not, we find Eli stuck, one arm and one leg through the doggie door,…

“SAY THAT SHIT AGAIN CUH”

“Ewww, feet? Doesn’t he know where they’ve been?”

Makes sense. Big Ben is Grumpy, Jay Cutler is Sleepy and their offensive line coach is Sneezy.

I’m half-convinced Manning took the delay of game penalty on purpose so they’d be forced to kick the field goal. There was no good reason to go for it at that point. Take the points, get within a score, hope not to have more drops than catches the rest of the way.

A.C. Green, meanwhile, is fine with it.

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL? Are you ready for a PARTY?

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL? Are you ready for a PARTY?

Back when he was still with the Eagles (maybe 08 or 09), I ran into Andy Reid at Home Depot once. He was incredibly nice. It was in early September and the Eagles were getting ready to start the season. There is a Home Depot in South Philly. About 2 miles from the Linc. He is pretty easy to spot. So I went over…

I going to guess that you rooted for Javert?

Seems rather aggressive...A*G*G*R*E*S*S*I*V*E!!!

I mean, if I assumed I was about to get thrown at again and Aroldis Chapman was on the mound, I’d start a fight to get myself ejected too.

The only thing she’s ever blown is a 28-3 lead.

Hi, long-time listener, first-time caller. There is no quarterback controversy because da Bears have a quarterback, and his name is Mick Trabinksi. I haven’t seen a guy trow like dat since McCown was QB—and we woulda won a Super Bowl if he had stayed on the team, but dat’s anudder story. You can’t have what’s-his-name…

The only product that actually works is Todd Haley’s BRAIN CHAW. Whether you’re dialing up a play for a QB who can’t read, or you’re whipping a High Life at the Mexican kid who just stranded your son on third, BRAIN CHAW’s unique blend of mouth tobacco, B12, Taurine, and biker crank provides you with the focus,…

LeBron James making 4 dimensional chess moves while Dan Gilbert is stuck playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Fan behind Loria: What a fucking snake.

Hook. Cried buckets. In my defense, I was 15 and basically an angsty skinbag of hormones.

The end of the DiCaprio-starring “The Man In the Iron Mask.”