We're beating Florida!!! What a way to end the season! My last season. My last game? the end of my football life... at least I'll graduate with a degree from Georgia Sout-blarggrblblgrr

Way to go Jerry. It's not like the people of Dallas weren't already thinking about an assassination.

This is really a bummer. The World Cup shouldn't be used to divide people. It should be a showcase of each country's best. Sportsmen who devoted their lives in pursuit of a common goal. Grinding, toiling, scraping their way towards greatness. And even if that goal is not reached, their work is not in vain. Because…

Why not just relocate and use the 2010 World Cup stadiums in South Africa? They seem to be the most capable nation to sew this problem up.

Bills GM: This is very important. Please do your best to identify Buffalo on this map of New York.

What will really be fun is after the marriage sours and she laces up her PF Flyers to steal home.

Baby Greg Schiano is born with a combination caesarian and episiotomy. He likes doing things like an all-powerful emperor, but can't avoid the opportunity to mangle some puss.

Greg Shiano thinks MRSA would stop being such a bitch if MRA would man-up gave her "a nice hard piping"

Toasting my new name in style tonight! You'll be seeing #Hitner jerseys before you know it

That explains Berry's excitement on draft day when he heard the Chiefs described as "the furthest thing from champs in the league".

He's right, though. The key to a solution is dissolving things correctly.

First sex letter: Oooh, hey [redacted], you wanna party with me? I'll slip and slither up next to you like a sexy little snake. But watch out, I may bite...

Jesus Barry, this is serious to some people. What? You think 24 is some sort of game?

Relevant items in picture:

Easy mistake to make. Even easier to understand when you consider Smith grew up in Cleveland with a in a staunchly pro-Nixon father.

Don't worry Mike. Everybody hurts. Sometimes.

#45 would be more fitting considering her dad wishes he was dead.

"pursue, shoot, shoot at, poison, wound, kill, capture, trap, collect, molest or disturb."

It's good that the partners got the money Zygi screwed them out of. But can they even spend Earth money on Mars? And what do spiders even need to buy?